saltinourstars | If it feels like falling you probably already fell

If it feels like falling you probably already fell - for horned_owl

Karasuno's come a long way from the "fallen rivals" no one could be bothered to practice against. Since they've qualified for Nationals, there have been several requests for scrimmages. Then Fukurodani asked for an entire weekend. Coach Ukai jumped on that one. True, they're competition. But after the improvements from Tokyo Summer Camp? Who knows what could come out of this.

So here it is. Crows vs. Owls. They've finished up their first joint practice and everyone's chattering. Excited about tomorrow's scrimmage, trading insults and tips. Tsukki wipes the sweat from his face, satisfied with the practice. Maybe even smiling a little. Definitely about the blocks, though. Nothing to do with any spiky-haired loud-mouths hooting around the court.

Or the fact Bokuto's sleeping at his house.

(Their school isn't set up for overnight guests. Solution? The Fukurodani players are staying with the Karasuno families.)

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There's a shuddering sigh at that. Tsukki leans fractionally into the touch. Grateful for the stability, that Bokuto hasn't just tackled him into a hug. Which would have brought everything crashing to a halt.

"He did, and then he broke it. And Akiteru's sorry. I know that, he's been trying to make up for it for years."

Tsukki pushes his glasses up. Rubbing at his eyes. He isn't even angry with Akiteru, he never was. He just didn't understand.

"I'm on the same team. I could have gone to another school, my grades were good enough. Of course I cared."

That's the real kicker. Tsukki could have quit, at anytime. He didn't need a sports scholarship, to put up with the hours of practice, Kageyama's attitude, Hinata's insufferable sunshine. So what was he trying to prove? That he could beat the team that spit out his brother?

"And then you came along."

The summer training camp came along. It's been few months since then but Bokuto can remember every detail of it. The long practices, not enough sleep despite going to bed early. Tsukishima being distant, avoiding everyone. And then ended up asking him why they try so hard.

From the looks of it, the answer he provided had helped him out, even just a little bit.

Bokuto smiles. "Mmhmm. Lot's of nice memories from training camp. I'm glad you gave volleyball a second chance because the way you looked that night, it felt as if you would quit the second you came back home." Bokuo is glad Tsukishima didn't give up.

"It was close. I knew I couldn't keep coasting. You, Yamaguchi, Kuroo... you all still wanted to be there. Volleyball hadn't destroyed you."

Tsukishima doesn't often get called on his bullshit. But that was the week for it. Yamaguchi chewing him out - at least that was deserved. He had the right. All the information. But who was the noisy owl to declare 'You suck'? Bokuto hadn't known anything about Tsukki then. Except what was in front of him.

A guy not trying. Never mind why Tsukishima didn't want to try. That still stung.

There's a deep breath in. Out. In again.

"And then you actually answered the question. Why someone would want this so much."

Well, volleyball destroys Bokuto daily, in different ways. But it certainly isn't with the intensity that hurt Tsukishima. He held it dear because of his brother, and when that was gone he was left with nothing. Only a sport he knows basics of, pain and ressentiment.

"I did answer it," Bokuto leaned chin on his entwined fingers. "The answer was, as much as it was truthful, a double-edged knife. Some people find their motivation back. Some don't. Since that night, I truly, truly hoped you will pull through. The talent doesn't matter if you don't feel like playing."

Tsukki nods.

"Thank you."

He knew he had that hope behind him. Bokuto, Yamaguchi, Akiteru. More then that, his whole team. He could make them better. If he wanted. And somehow - it was enough. Cracks in the shell. And when the moment came -

"'That's the moment you'll be hooked on volleyball.' And I got it. Shutting down Ushijima. One point out of twenty-five, but that was mine."

Closing his hand, Tsukishima remembered the pain. Not from the split in his pinkie. Or from having his heart broken. It was a new one. The agony of having to leave the court when everything felt so right.

But - There will be more opportunities. He knows it. There's a smile, and Tsukki's finally able to look at Bokuto again.

"I wonder if stopping you will be another one?"

Bokuto can't hold back the grin. He saw the match later, on the computer, but it was probably ten times better in person and felt incredible to shut down one of the most insane spikers in Japan.

"Yeah! I watched the match at home. And I could tell Akaashi watched it too because when we came to practice next day his tosses were so precise it scared the shit out of me."

Akaashi is scary in general.

With a small laugh, Bokuto leans behind and keeps grinning: "Oho? You want to stop me, huh? Just so you know Tsukki! I love you to bits but I won't go easy on you!" His grin turns into a warm smile, "It would be an insult to you."

Tsukki's own expression goes a little sharp at that first bit. Now that's interesting. Of course they're not trying to get an advantage here. However, hearing Akaashi's play style changed? There's a flare of pride at that.

Then Bokuto goes on - and Tsukki's mouth drops open. He has to shake himself, trying to process.

"Wait. What did you say?"

Akaashi doesn't want to be outsmarted by anyone. Not even his favorite underling.

Bokuto's confused for a second, not getting why is Tsukishima so shocked. Did he say something weird? Rewinding, he can't remember anything odd with-

Oh. Oh.

Bokuto's face turns Nekoma shade of red and his hands flail around.

"W-Wait-! Uh! I-I didn't-! Well!" ...this is not helping, huh? "..." It's not a lie but he shouldn't have said it NOW!

"Wow. Is the mighty Ace of Fukurodani actually backing down?"

Tsukishima folds his arms. Arching a brow. It is only years of top-notch training in Sarcasm that lets him hold this pose. It feels like his heart is going to hammer out of his chest.

He wants to hear it.

!! "O-Of course not!"

Just give him a minute, please! He almost gave himself a heart attack. This wasn't what he planned. He envisioned confession on Tokyo Tower, on New year's eve, sharing a scarf.

...he's romantic soul, sue him.

Bokuto clears his throat and looks up at Tsukishima, still red in face, but smiling. "I love you to bits, Tsukki!"

"Okay."

Romance has never been a priority in Tsukki's life. Which is probably a complete and utter shock. However, he isn't making a bad show. There's moonlight, stars, and when he leans forward to kiss Bokuto it's long and sweet. There may be hope.

"...I'm going to need time. Are you alright with that?"

He's falling. It's just slower. Tsukki's never been in love, or even liked anyone half the way he does Bokuto. He needs to get used to these new words in his head.

Bokuto will be red in face for a very long time. Not even that nice, long kiss is making him feel less calm. It was appreciated, though, the effort. He kisses him back and smiles.

"Mm. It's more than fine. I didn't plan to say it now or anytime soon it just, well, it slipped out." Not thinking in advance is going to be the death of him one day, just as Akaashi predicted.

He wraps his hand around Tsukki's middle, to keep him sitting by his side after the kiss.

This close, it's obvious Tsukki's usual calm is shaken too. Breathing faster, leaning into Bokuto a bit more then he has previously. Hand settling on top of the one around his waist. Just... thinking. Stabilizing.

Then he pushes up.

"Come on. I told Mom we'd be later, but we should get going."

In any other situation, Bokuto would protest. However, momma Tsukki was mentioned and he nods obediently. Getting Kei into trouble is not a plan. Getting embarrassing childhood stories about Kei is the plan.

He nods and gets up as well.

"Yeah, we shouldn't worry her." Now, where did he drop his stuff?

(Ask her about the dinosaur costume Bo~)

Tsukishima scoops up their things. Apparently content to carry the whole lot himself, unless there's a protest. Maybe he doesn't make huge declarations. But he does show affection in quieter ways. If you're paying attention.

There's one more long, considering look at Bokuto. The moon suits him too, Tsukki decides. Lights up his hair, his eyes, and makes him seem more like an owl then ever.

"Hey. Promise something."

(Of course!)

He would've protested because it's not fair for Tsukishima to carry everything but he interrupts his train of thought.

"Hm?"

Promise? He's not usually asked to do such things, except in "promise not to train too much" cases.

"Promise you won't go easy on me. It's the only way I'm going to get better."

Tsukki isn't thinking of only volleyball. He means this... thing that they're building. He wants to be the best at this too. Bokuto deserves that.

He doesn't think for one second that Bokuto would. It's just important to hear out loud.

Bokuto never intended to go easy on Tsukishima because, well, that's how he rolls. Of course, he respects when Tsukki needs time to wind down from stuff (something he should try to incorporate as well), but he never underestimates him.

"I promise on my owl honor, that I shall never go easy on you. In anything. Especially volleyball, eating tons of barbecue and kissing!"

It might sound goofy but- it's Bokuto. He means every single word of the promise he just made.

True, Tsukki does need processing time. It's different then the bottomless pit of trying not to care. That's what he wants to stay out of. This is better.

Weird, but better.

"'Owl Honor.'"

He shakes his head and there's a huff of laughter.

"Good enough. Come on."

Tsukki does not give up either duffel bag. Deal with it. It's not a long way to the house, anyway. The moon drifts behind them as they talk (or Bokuto rambles, Tsukishima inserts occasional sarcasm.)

"Owl Honor is real you know," Bokuto half-pouted but it was obviously a fake. Because as soon as they stepped out on the street and he was allowed to be loud, he was.

The mention of owl honor has reminded him of something really important.

"Oh! By the way! When you come to Tokyo, I'm taking you to owl cafe!"

"Hm. No, I don't think so."

Tsukki waits a beat, holding his poker face. Then relaxes into a smile.

"See, I'd already planned to take you."

Which is true. He'd heard about the cafe before even meeting Bokuto. Once they'd started dating? It seemed inevitable. No way Bokuto's getting the drop here!

"Oho?" Bokuto perked up at the new information. Being taken out on a date by Tsukki. It sounds as surreal as the first date where he accepted to go out with him. He can't help but grin.

"Sounds like a plan to me! Just say when you're free and we'll go!"

Although to be perfectly fair, Bokuto doesn't care who takes whom to date- as long as they GO. Spending time together is the best part of it all.

The Tsukishima household is bursting, going from two people to four. Akiteru's made it a point to get home. Curious about this 'friend' who's actually able to get Kei laughing.

Despite the earlier tale, the brothers seem comfortable enough. If Tsukki's quiet, well, it's been a long day. And night. He talks easily to Akiteru. (Though there's a hesitant look on the elder, whenever Tsukki turns away. As if he's weighing every word, surveying for new cracks.)

But it's good, warm and comfortable, with plenty of food. Mrs. Tsukishima clearly unphased by teenage appetites.

There are also plenty of chances to sneak glances at photos of baby Tsukki. Especially the one of him dressed as a T-Rex for a school play. Which Mrs. Tsukishima is happy to talk all about, despite protests from her son.

It really is a lot of fun having many people in the house. Bokuto is an only child so seeing Tsukishima interact with his brother made him feel warm inside. Despite the differences and what happened, he's sure that they will work it out in the end. And Akiteru doesn't seem like a bad guy.

A ton of food was eaten, Tsukki baby pictures seen (Bokuto and Tsukki-Mom agreed that Tsukki Rex is the most amazing thing in the world) and his favorite blond was teased. The evening was a success! He was reluctant to go to sleep but there was more practice tomorrow and he needs to be in perfect form.

The next morning, with his training bag, slung over his shoulder, Bokuto waited for the youngest Tsukishima at the bottom of the stairs. Crunching at croissant Tsukki-Mom gave him. Where is Tsukishima anyway? He woke up before Bokuto.

"Looking for Kei?"

The Tsukishima coming down the stairs turns out to be Akiteru instead. His hair's still ruffled from sleep, though the smile for Bokuto is bright enough.

"He went for a walk. I think he wanted some quiet - should we go find him?"

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Whoops the big brother decided he wanted a word! ;)