["Lucky!" Yamaguchi exclaims. Recognizing instantly the kind of hero-worship blooming. Who can blame the kid? Leaning over, he stage-whispers to Kenzo.
"Usually he walks me, but I'll let you borrow him!"
Tsukki feels his ears catch fire. What? Is it so weird to be doing someone a favor?]
[Ah... Yamaguchi. That's right. He's more lively than Tsukishima, but not in an intimidating way. Just friendly. Kenzo gives him a shallow bow, almost-smiling at him.]
[Yamaguchi pops back up. Clearly not bothered by the grumbles. In fact, he beams wider.
"Yup! Bye Kenzo, call me later Tsukki!"
With that he heads towards the rest of the 1st Years. Two of them (guess who) bicker, voices loud in the twilight.
Tsukki grunts, digs through the duffel. Jacket first. Pulled on with a sigh of relief. Much better, after just running around in a t-shirt. Then come the headphones. On autopilot, he slides them over his ears. Familiar weight spreading calm through his whole body. Except, right - Kenzo.
[The other two team members are equally terrifying to Kenzo, even though he's never met them directly - as far as he's concerned, the sunshiny top-volume brightness of Hinata is just as scary as the dark scowling doom and gloom of Kageyama.
The younger manager is cute, though...
Kenzo's ready to walk the rest of the way in silence when Tsukishima puts on his headphones, not all that bothered by what others might consider rudeness, but then he takes the off again and Kenzo thinks - ah, he should probably make conversation. There is one thing weighing on his mind.]
Tsukishima - are you going to tell Koushi-nii about what happened?
[Kenzo flinches at that word, lie, his shoulders hunching even further inward. There's no point in clarifying that he'll just tell Koushi after the fact, is there? If Tsukishima's this particular about lying by omission, it won't help.]
Um. [His voice is a bit tremulous.] It's not just that. The... things I get... called...
[He's very carefully avoided that part, aside from saying that he doesn't consider any of it personally insulting, because Tsukishima managed to miss the worst of it. But truth be told, he doesn't want to tell either of them about that part.]
[Kenzo nods, letting out a little sigh of relief. Although he feels the need to add again, just to make sure that Tsukishima knows his feelings as well:]
It's not - I'm not insulted. If it was just words, I wouldn't care. Except - making it into an insult, that's not -
[No, this was a bad idea. He needs to be quiet now.]
- sorry. Um. I promise I'll tell Koushi about being chased down and trapped in the supply closet.
[Kenzo needs more. He needs Sugawara. Someone good at this sort of thing. Instead, he's stuck with a guy whose expertise is making people scream and rage-quit.
A thought edges in - What would Akiteru say?
Internally groaning, Tsukki takes a stab at Being Mature and Supportive.]
...It sounds like it's bothering you.
[Obviously it bothered him! The kid was chased into a broom closet!]
[Squaring his shoulders and clenching his fists, Kenzo takes a deep breath and just spits out the part that's eating at him, real venom rising in his tone.]
I hate that people who are just - that just make each other happy get used as the worst thing anyone could call you. I want to make them stop but I'm...
[He's insulted on his brother's behalf (and Tsukishima's) but a fraction of their size and strength. That's the part that gets to him, and that's why he's struggling with what to tell Koushi.]
... you know. I'm me. I just have to avoid it and wait it out, and they get to keep being awful about people who are - better at being people than they are!!
[That was. Some actual rage. Looks like Tsukishima's actually quite good at pulling emotions out of Kenzo that he would normally force down because he feels powerless to do anything about them.]>/small>
[Maybe Tsukki should try to calm down that rage. Watch his language.
He chooses neither.
Kenzo's talking about slurs. Aimed at him, at people he cares about, and the correct response is to be angry. So Tsukki keeps going. Biting off each word.]
They're sad, miserable assholes with sad, miserable lives who won't bother to be anything else.
[For a moment, tears shine in Kenzo's eyes as he looks up at Tsukishima, but they're not bad tears. He just happens to be a happy crier sometimes, like his big bro.
He ducks his head and blinks them away, but a shy little laugh bubbles up and he's smiling when he looks forward again.]
I... I don't need to make a scene and get hurt because of things said by people that pathetic. [That's the miracle of what Tsukishima just said - it's a way out of standing up to them, the morally correct action that would get him utterly pummeled. He can feel okay about it now.] Someone tougher will hurt them back one day and they'll learn.
[As they close in on the Sugawara residence, Kenzo's surprised to see his brother and Daichi approaching from the other direction. His stomach twists up with dread and he almost turns and runs away, but - that'd make him a disappointment to Koushi and Tsukishima in one fell swoop, a thought he just can't bear.
Suga looks equally surprised to see his brother and boyfriend walking together, a sight he finds charming until worries start to creep in about how this would even happen. Even if they ran into each other, Suga can't see either of them starting up a conversation out of the blue, never mind one that would lead them all the way here.
Thankfully, Daichi seems to read the room pretty quickly and splits from the group to carry on home right after greeting Tsukishima and Kenzo. There's a smile on Suga's face when he addresses both of them, but it's probably not quite bright enough to fool either of them.]
Well hello, you two! I didn't expect to see two of my favorite people right at my door at this time of the evening, but I can't complain.
[It's obvious something's off. No use trying to shield it with fake smiles. Tsukki gives Daichi a polite nod, waits for the older boy to turn the corner. Then tilts his head to Suga.]
[Kenzo's voice is quiet, but it doesn't waver. Suga's eyebrows shoot up, then settle into a more serious expression as he takes in this little exchange.]
Let's head in, then. We can talk in my room so that mom and dad don't interrupt when they get home.
[Though it's not worded like a question and there's no upward inflection in his voice, Suga and Kenzo exchange a look and the younger brother nods - yes, this is a conversation, and yes, he'd like it to be private. Suga doesn't play the cheerful host or offer Tsukki anything when they enter the house - it feels more respectful to his brother's solemn mood to skip the formalities and head straight for his room.
Once there, he sits in his computer chair so he won't tower over his tiny brother and looks from Kenzo to Tsukishima and back.]
[It's absolutely Big Brother Mode, and Tsukki takes a beat to center himself. Doesn't take the bed. That's center stage, where all that concern will focus.
Instead he drops his bag, leaning against the wall.
[Sure enough, Kenzo sits on the bed with his legs dangling off the edge. He looks over at Tsukishima briefly, but it's more of a nervous gesture than anything - after Tsukishima's strong words about the importance of telling Koushi the truth, he doesn't expect any leeway from that direction.
Finally, he lets out a big sigh and looks up from his hands, which are folded politely in his lap, into his brother's face.]
Some guys at school, they... um, they've been giving me a hard time. For awhile. Mostly just saying things they think will make me mad or hurt me. And the school counsellor said it'd stop if I just stayed calm and didn't give them what they wanted, b-but...
[A shadow settles over Suga's gentle features as his mind races with the possibilities: Kenzo wasn't limping, he's got no visible bruises, he was wearing his bookbag normally without any signs of pain, so was it physically bullying? Or something worse, some nasty psychological seed that could really take root in his brother's brilliant, delicate mind? It's difficult to stay quiet while Kenzo works up the nerve to say more, but Suga just sets his jaw and waits out the silence.]
... today they followed me around after school and waited until I left the music club room... and when I tried to get past them, they chased me up to the third floor so I couldn't get to an exit... all I could think to do was... was close myself into a supply closet...
[That's when Kenzo breaks down again, tears streaming down his face as he sinks back into that feeling of terror and helplessness. Immediately, Suga's up and out of his chair to sit beside Kenzo and wrap an arm around him.]
It's alright. You're safe now, okay? [Giving Kenzo a moment to pull himself together, Suga directs his next question to Tsukki:] Where do you come into this?
[Tsukki grits his teeth. Willing himself still. This is how it's got to go, hadn't he pretty much railroaded the kid into it?
Except now Kenzo's a mess and Suga's eyes are shadowed.
Everything feels worse. Even though it's the most secure they've been since this fiasco started. Calm. He will be calm. This isn't about him. Tsukki keeps the reply flat, not adding any emotion to the storm. Or so he tells himself. Anger seeps in at the edges, staining his words.]
[There's a brief but raw flicker of hurt across Suga's face. Not angry or betrayed hurt, just confused hurt - why wouldn't Kenzo come to him? Why would someone so new to Kenzo's life take precedence in an emergency? He knows they talk about music, but this makes him feel out of the loop in a slippery, nerve-wracking way.
He tells himself the same things, though. Not about me. Not about me. Kenzo was in crisis, Tsukishima helped him. He had absolutely no responsibility to do so, but he did.]
He helped! [Kenzo's little voice pipes up between harsh, shaky breaths. Without any understanding of the reasons for all this tension, he's just desperate to keep anyone else from getting into the line of fire.] I was so scared I couldn't think straight, but I didn't want to... to -
To what? [Suga forces his voice to stay quiet, gentle, and he gives Kenzo a little squeeze. Kenzo seems to have hit his limit again, though, so Suga just gives Tsukki a rather helpless look.] Thank you, Tsukki.
[That confusion hits hard. It's too much like Akiteru, across the gym, watching his brother's heart break.
Tsukki tastes metal. Something like guilt seeping into the dregs of adrenaline. Which makes no sense. He didn't start any of this. Even though the emotion is there because of him - No. That's childish, and he's not a child.
Get through the story.]
Yeah.
So.
I chased the little -
[He's about to use something politer, out of habit. Why bother? Not like Kenzo's being protected, he's heard the word. And worse.]
Tch. They're assholes, and I should have scared them worse.
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["Lucky!" Yamaguchi exclaims. Recognizing instantly the kind of hero-worship blooming. Who can blame the kid? Leaning over, he stage-whispers to Kenzo.
"Usually he walks me, but I'll let you borrow him!"
Tsukki feels his ears catch fire. What? Is it so weird to be doing someone a favor?]
Oh be quiet, Yamaguchi.
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Thanks, Yamaguchi-san.
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[Yamaguchi pops back up. Clearly not bothered by the grumbles. In fact, he beams wider.
"Yup! Bye Kenzo, call me later Tsukki!"
With that he heads towards the rest of the 1st Years. Two of them (guess who) bicker, voices loud in the twilight.
Tsukki grunts, digs through the duffel. Jacket first. Pulled on with a sigh of relief. Much better, after just running around in a t-shirt. Then come the headphones. On autopilot, he slides them over his ears. Familiar weight spreading calm through his whole body. Except, right - Kenzo.
Instead, Tsukki settles them around his neck.]
All right, let's go.
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The younger manager is cute, though...
Kenzo's ready to walk the rest of the way in silence when Tsukishima puts on his headphones, not all that bothered by what others might consider rudeness, but then he takes the off again and Kenzo thinks - ah, he should probably make conversation. There is one thing weighing on his mind.]
Tsukishima - are you going to tell Koushi-nii about what happened?
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He keeps looking ahead. Voice mild.]
That depends.
Are you going to?
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He’s got a lot going on right now. His whole future is riding on this entrance exam. I don’t want to worry him.
[That’s not quite a no.]
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So you're going to lie to him?
Because lying makes it worse. Trust me.
[It's probably not fair, putting it that way. Tsukki doesn't care. He's not letting Suga and Kenzo get ripped open like he was.]
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Um. [His voice is a bit tremulous.] It's not just that. The... things I get... called...
[He's very carefully avoided that part, aside from saying that he doesn't consider any of it personally insulting, because Tsukishima managed to miss the worst of it. But truth be told, he doesn't want to tell either of them about that part.]
I - I can leave that part out, right?
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Geeze.
No.
No, Suga wouldn't make you repeat that. He'll believe you.
[Kenzo's voice is all over the place. Giving away how bad the names were - are. Tsukki grits his teeth. He can guess what words were involved.
Maybe he should have pushed those kids down the stairs.]
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It's not - I'm not insulted. If it was just words, I wouldn't care. Except - making it into an insult, that's not -
[No, this was a bad idea. He needs to be quiet now.]
- sorry. Um. I promise I'll tell Koushi about being chased down and trapped in the supply closet.
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[Kenzo needs more. He needs Sugawara. Someone good at this sort of thing. Instead, he's stuck with a guy whose expertise is making people scream and rage-quit.
A thought edges in - What would Akiteru say?
Internally groaning, Tsukki takes a stab at Being Mature and Supportive.]
...It sounds like it's bothering you.
[Obviously it bothered him! The kid was chased into a broom closet!]
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I hate that people who are just - that just make each other happy get used as the worst thing anyone could call you. I want to make them stop but I'm...
[He's insulted on his brother's behalf (and Tsukishima's) but a fraction of their size and strength. That's the part that gets to him, and that's why he's struggling with what to tell Koushi.]
... you know. I'm me. I just have to avoid it and wait it out, and they get to keep being awful about people who are - better at being people than they are!!
[That was. Some actual rage. Looks like Tsukishima's actually quite good at pulling emotions out of Kenzo that he would normally force down because he feels powerless to do anything about them.]>/small>
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[Maybe Tsukki should try to calm down that rage. Watch his language.
He chooses neither.
Kenzo's talking about slurs. Aimed at him, at people he cares about, and the correct response is to be angry. So Tsukki keeps going. Biting off each word.]
They're sad, miserable assholes with sad, miserable lives who won't bother to be anything else.
It's pathetic how small that is.
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He ducks his head and blinks them away, but a shy little laugh bubbles up and he's smiling when he looks forward again.]
I... I don't need to make a scene and get hurt because of things said by people that pathetic. [That's the miracle of what Tsukishima just said - it's a way out of standing up to them, the morally correct action that would get him utterly pummeled. He can feel okay about it now.] Someone tougher will hurt them back one day and they'll learn.
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Exactly. So pathetic!
Don't wait around for people like that to learn.
They aren't worth your time.
[Tsukki's smirk loosens into a smile, when Kenzo laughs. Glad that something in this awful day could help.]
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I can see why my brother likes you. You're really cool.
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Earnest compliments - his one weakness!]
If you say so!
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Suga looks equally surprised to see his brother and boyfriend walking together, a sight he finds charming until worries start to creep in about how this would even happen. Even if they ran into each other, Suga can't see either of them starting up a conversation out of the blue, never mind one that would lead them all the way here.
Thankfully, Daichi seems to read the room pretty quickly and splits from the group to carry on home right after greeting Tsukishima and Kenzo. There's a smile on Suga's face when he addresses both of them, but it's probably not quite bright enough to fool either of them.]
Well hello, you two! I didn't expect to see two of my favorite people right at my door at this time of the evening, but I can't complain.
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We're surprised as you.
Kenzo - You want me to stick around?
[He'd been about to ask, but - Here they are.]
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[Kenzo's voice is quiet, but it doesn't waver. Suga's eyebrows shoot up, then settle into a more serious expression as he takes in this little exchange.]
Let's head in, then. We can talk in my room so that mom and dad don't interrupt when they get home.
[Though it's not worded like a question and there's no upward inflection in his voice, Suga and Kenzo exchange a look and the younger brother nods - yes, this is a conversation, and yes, he'd like it to be private. Suga doesn't play the cheerful host or offer Tsukki anything when they enter the house - it feels more respectful to his brother's solemn mood to skip the formalities and head straight for his room.
Once there, he sits in his computer chair so he won't tower over his tiny brother and looks from Kenzo to Tsukishima and back.]
What's going on?
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Instead he drops his bag, leaning against the wall.
Lets Kenzo start.]
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Finally, he lets out a big sigh and looks up from his hands, which are folded politely in his lap, into his brother's face.]
Some guys at school, they... um, they've been giving me a hard time. For awhile. Mostly just saying things they think will make me mad or hurt me. And the school counsellor said it'd stop if I just stayed calm and didn't give them what they wanted, b-but...
[A shadow settles over Suga's gentle features as his mind races with the possibilities: Kenzo wasn't limping, he's got no visible bruises, he was wearing his bookbag normally without any signs of pain, so was it physically bullying? Or something worse, some nasty psychological seed that could really take root in his brother's brilliant, delicate mind? It's difficult to stay quiet while Kenzo works up the nerve to say more, but Suga just sets his jaw and waits out the silence.]
... today they followed me around after school and waited until I left the music club room... and when I tried to get past them, they chased me up to the third floor so I couldn't get to an exit... all I could think to do was... was close myself into a supply closet...
[That's when Kenzo breaks down again, tears streaming down his face as he sinks back into that feeling of terror and helplessness. Immediately, Suga's up and out of his chair to sit beside Kenzo and wrap an arm around him.]
It's alright. You're safe now, okay? [Giving Kenzo a moment to pull himself together, Suga directs his next question to Tsukki:] Where do you come into this?
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Except now Kenzo's a mess and Suga's eyes are shadowed.
Everything feels worse. Even though it's the most secure they've been since this fiasco started. Calm. He will be calm. This isn't about him. Tsukki keeps the reply flat, not adding any emotion to the storm. Or so he tells himself. Anger seeps in at the edges, staining his words.]
Kenzo texted me.
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He tells himself the same things, though. Not about me. Not about me. Kenzo was in crisis, Tsukishima helped him. He had absolutely no responsibility to do so, but he did.]
He helped! [Kenzo's little voice pipes up between harsh, shaky breaths. Without any understanding of the reasons for all this tension, he's just desperate to keep anyone else from getting into the line of fire.] I was so scared I couldn't think straight, but I didn't want to... to -
To what? [Suga forces his voice to stay quiet, gentle, and he gives Kenzo a little squeeze. Kenzo seems to have hit his limit again, though, so Suga just gives Tsukki a rather helpless look.] Thank you, Tsukki.
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Tsukki tastes metal. Something like guilt seeping into the dregs of adrenaline. Which makes no sense. He didn't start any of this. Even though the emotion is there because of him - No. That's childish, and he's not a child.
Get through the story.]
Yeah.
So.
I chased the little -
[He's about to use something politer, out of habit. Why bother? Not like Kenzo's being protected, he's heard the word. And worse.]
Tch. They're assholes, and I should have scared them worse.
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why does dw send me notifs for edits but not the original tags sometimes??
No idea???? BAD DW.
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I emerge from the dEPTHS
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