saltinourstars: icon by mapsincolor (Eleven)
Tsukishima Kei ([personal profile] saltinourstars) wrote2021-04-05 06:06 pm

Overflow / PSL 2

Continued nonsense
beautymarker: (pic#13963366)

boy is too good for this world

[personal profile] beautymarker 2024-05-02 12:19 am (UTC)(link)
[When Tsukishima answers the call, he'll be greeted by a loud, wet sniffle and a hitching breath before Sugawara manages to speak.]

Thi-this is all so melodramatic, I'm sorry... [His words are occasionally broken up by hiccuping noises when he tries to stifle louder sobs.] Nothing is even wrong, I confessed to Daichi and it went fine, the world didn't end, there's no reason for me to be so - !

[His voice cracks and he dissolves back into tears.]
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[personal profile] beautymarker 2024-05-02 12:29 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah... all of it. The big L.

[See, this is who he should've talked to before running off to confess. Kita's optimism is beautiful and all, Sugawara can understand the importance of boundless optimism better than anyone, but - this outcome was a foregone conclusion. Tsukishima could've told him that.]

So stupid!
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[personal profile] beautymarker 2024-05-02 12:44 am (UTC)(link)
I am...

[For some inexplicable reason, explaining his own idiocy actually helps to calm Suga's breathing, until his voice is almost steady by the end.]

... I knew exactly how this would go and that's why I never bothered... or I thought that was why, but now I think that was just my stupid way of holding onto some kind of hope. If you're never rejected, there's always a chance you never would've been! Like Schrödinger's Confession or something.

But then someone got into my head about honesty and trust between friends and now... what? He knows and feels awful for never realizing it himself, I know 100% for absolutely certain that he doesn't feel the same about me. What did that help?!
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[personal profile] beautymarker 2024-05-02 12:56 am (UTC)(link)
... you did?

Are you alright?

[Even while actively having a breakdown, Sugawara can hit pause to check on his kouhai's well-being.]
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[personal profile] beautymarker 2024-05-02 01:17 am (UTC)(link)
Oh. [Soft and full of empathy, but also awed that Tsukishima would share something like that with him.

For now, at least, his tears have dried up.]
beautymarker: (pic#13963378)

[personal profile] beautymarker 2024-05-02 01:43 pm (UTC)(link)
... and now you're two of the closest friends I've ever seen.

[Sniffle sniffle.]

Would you take it back if you could?
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[personal profile] beautymarker 2024-05-02 02:07 pm (UTC)(link)
[Sugawara's quiet for a long moment, his sniffly breaths the only sound from his end of the line.]

In some ways, you're really mature for your age, Tsukishima.

[Now that he's starting to calm down, Sugawara feels even more embarrassed about having brought this to his kouhai. But why? They're friends, right? Tsukishima's handled it very calmly, and he doesn't seem the type to shoulder burdens that aren't his just because he's been made aware of them. He'll support, but he won't martyr himself.

What a wonderfully odd person he is.]
beautymarker: (pic#17156597)

[personal profile] beautymarker 2024-05-02 05:26 pm (UTC)(link)
No... you're right, Daichi took it well and he's gonna keep taking it well no matter what. If it ever does bother him, he won't let it show.

I just hate the certainty of it all. Even if I don't plan to live in delusion land for the rest of my life, I'd like the option!
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[personal profile] beautymarker 2024-05-02 06:05 pm (UTC)(link)
[Eep. He's got to be more careful about what he says here.]

He said... [Remembering the moment makes his throat get tight again and his voice starts to tremble.] ... that it was okay, mostly. He kept saying it's okay, it's okay. And that he was honored by my feelings.
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[personal profile] beautymarker 2024-05-02 06:46 pm (UTC)(link)
Heh… yeah, I would’ve thrown myself off a cliff if he said he was flattered.

I’m not gonna lose him. That’s the important thing. I just need to… remember that, stop being selfish. No one gets everything they want.
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[personal profile] beautymarker 2024-05-02 10:48 pm (UTC)(link)
[He does, he wants company desperately, so for once he just answers without thinking about what the other person might need.]

Yeah. I'm just... kind of wandering around right now, I don't want to go back home while I'm still such a disaster. So I can meet you anywhere.
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[personal profile] beautymarker 2024-05-02 11:07 pm (UTC)(link)
I'll meet you there.

Thanks, Tsukishima-kun.

[He's actually quite close by, as it happens, so Tsukishima will find Suga waiting outside with his arms wrapped around himself. While he's not still actively crying, his eyes are red-rimmed and puffy and there's a visible fragility to his placid expression.

If only he hadn't bolted from the house so quickly himself after sending Daichi into his mini-crisis... it's not terribly warm out, and he's got no money or anything on him so he can't even buy Tsukishima a snack or drink to thank him.]
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[personal profile] beautymarker 2024-05-02 11:23 pm (UTC)(link)
[That - is the perfect opening line. Having to think fast enough to catch the tissues pulls Sugawara out of his head, and Tsukishima's remark startles a laugh out of him that makes it much easier to offer a genuine smile.]

Jeez, I don't even want to think about how I must look right now... [Dabbing at his eyes, blowing his nose, wiping his cheeks, it feels good to clear away some of the mess.] There! Do I pass inspection now?

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