saltinourstars | If it feels like falling you probably already fell

Karasuno's come a long way from the "fallen rivals" no one could be bothered to practice against. Since they've qualified for Nationals, there have been several requests for scrimmages. Then Fukurodani asked for an entire weekend. Coach Ukai jumped on that one. True, they're competition. But after the improvements from Tokyo Summer Camp? Who knows what could come out of this.

So here it is. Crows vs. Owls. They've finished up their first joint practice and everyone's chattering. Excited about tomorrow's scrimmage, trading insults and tips. Tsukki wipes the sweat from his face, satisfied with the practice. Maybe even smiling a little. Definitely about the blocks, though. Nothing to do with any spiky-haired loud-mouths hooting around the court.

Or the fact Bokuto's sleeping at his house.

(Their school isn't set up for overnight guests. Solution? The Fukurodani players are staying with the Karasuno families.)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

horned_owl

Bokuto's breath is ragged as well, the kiss leaving him without air for a few seconds there. Or was that just excitement? He can't put these feelings properly into words. The only thing he can do is smile like an idiot and scoot even closer to him, their shoulders and legs brushing.

He tilts his head, a bit in a deep thought.

"Ehh... I know that you're pretty but somehow I always forget how pretty you actually are. Huh."

From:

saltinourstars

Tsukki splutters.

"Pretty?!"

That is the last thing in the world he ever expected to hear about himself. Even from Bokuto. Who specializes in the ridiculous.The word curls strange in Tsukishima's head, the response automatic.

"I'm not pretty."

(Probably going to be as effective as trying to stop 'Tsukki' from happening, isn't it?)

From:

horned_owl

"Yes, you are!"

And Bokuto will, of course, argue back. "You just don't get to see how you look in this moonlight. So I don't blame you! But trust me-! You're gorgeous!"

The moon is giving Tsukishima's face and eyes such glint that he just can't look away.

From:

saltinourstars

Don't forget the eyelashes, Bokuto. It is maybe a crime how long they are.

Anyway. Great. Now Tsukki's completely stuck. Because the insane thing? He does trust Bokuto. He's honest. Probably couldn't lie if he tried. Which means this is the truth.

Bokuto Kotaro thinks he's pretty.

Which is somehow more of a head-fuck then them kissing. And before Tsukki can even begin to process that - form any kind of response - Bokuto ups the ante. Because of course he does.

"Tch."

(Tsukishima is not smiling at Gorgeous he isn't he isn't.)

From:

horned_owl

Eyelashes especially.

When he sees Tsukishima crack a smile, Bokuto matches it with a grin of his own. He can complain and 'tch' all he wants, but nothing can change Bokuto's mind on this.

He looks back up at the sky.

"SO! Constellations! Are you sure we'll be able to find some with moon this big and close?"

From:

saltinourstars

"You can still see Libra."

The moon's light blocks some stars, but that one's shining bright. Then the smile that isn't still there grows a fraction. Because what comes out next feels kind of sappy, but Tsukki wants Bokuto to know -

"Libra's mine, by the way."

So if Bokuto can find it by himself it will be extra impressive? If he's practiced since summer, anyway.

From:

horned_owl

"Really!? That's so cool!" Pause. "Why are Libra people so rare? The only other person that I know is Libra is Kenma. You know, Nekmoa's setter."

His eyes squint at the sky, trying to find that goddamn Jupiter. And what do you know, he actually finds it.

"Aha! There he is. Jupiter!" He points at the sky. "So Libra... Libra... guh, give me a second, I'll find it!" Because he did practice constellations and even watched 'how to easily find constellations in the night sky' videos!

From:

saltinourstars

"Really? Nishinoya's a Libra, too."

Tsukki leans back, weight settling into his hands. He's suddenly very aware of them. And how close they are to Bokuto's. He doesn't want to distract him, though.

From:

horned_owl

"The wild libero on your team!? Cool!"

Bokuto is going through motions of what Tsukishima told him before and what he 'learned'. He needs a few minutes to properly pinpoint the stars and finally find the constellation in question.

"There it is! Goddammit Libra, don't hide like that!" Bokuto laughs, pointing at the sky. "Okay, here it is! It goes like this," he starts drawing lines, making the triangle, "and then these two, on the edges."

Yes. That is very expectant look Bokuto is giving to Tsukishima. Insert praise here, please!~

From:

saltinourstars

"Wow. Good job."

Anyone who didn't know Tsukki would think that was sarcasm. Hell, anyone who did know him would also think that. Except Bokuto's not "anyone."

And Tsukishima's stopped wrestling with the smile. It's different from his usual smirk. Softer.

"Do you know how to find any more?"

From:

horned_owl

"Thanks! I practiced at home, in the back garden, whenever Sunny didn't bother me." His dog is an attention whore, just like Bokuto. Usually, he doesn't mind his dog just flopping over him as he lays down, but it was summer and his dog is like a goddamn blanket.

"Well! I tried finding simple ones, like Aries or Cassiopeia, but I never managed to see them." Maybe because they are just lines, not making any particular, recognizable shape.

"The internet didn't help with it either, haha."

From:

saltinourstars

Wow. That's actually impressive. It sounds like Bokuto did go to a lot of extra effort.

"It's easier to start with the larger ones. Like the Big and Little Dipper..."

Taking Bokuto's hand, he traces them out. Did it feel like this last time? All warm and humming in his head? Tsukki's pretty sure not. Or maybe he just didn't register what it was. He'd been so exhausted and frustrated... if it weren't for Bokuto, he might have hated that whole camp.

What a strange thing to realize now.

From:

horned_owl

Bokuto hums and watches intently what Tsukishima is showing him. Huh. It really is easier to find big ones, with circles or stuff like that.

He grins and turns to look at Tsukishima.

"Well. I also didn't have a good teacher to show me."

From:

saltinourstars

Tsukishima shrugs. But at least doesn't deny this compliment. It's nice that someone appreciates his efforts. Unlike certain ungrateful teammates.

"...You're a good teacher too. I don't mean only with volleyball."

Bokuto is never, ever getting called "senpai." But Tsukki can give him this.

Silence falls. Tsukki's clearly not done, just... figuring out the right words. He has made his peace with his brother, with middle school. However, it's not something he's ever discussed with anyone who wasn't there.

"So once I asked you why you liked volleyball... Do you want to know why I didn't?"

From:

horned_owl

"I am?" He is? "I taught you something else than volleyball? Huh... I wasn't aware." Bokuto grins anyway. "But if I helped, I'm happy!"

If Tsukishima ever calls him senpai, he'll cry. There won't be any holding back and the whole world would know that Tsukki called him 'senpai'.

Bokuto is silent for a moment, watching the sky, then looks at Tsukishima.

"Well, I always wanted to know. But, talking about things you don't like is always harder than about things you do, y'know? Because there's usually a reason and they aren't always nice." And Bokuto might be an airhead from time to time, but he can see when things are serious. Just that question Tsukishima asked him was on the completely new level. Something he never had to answer.

"If you are willing to tell me," Bokuto crosses his legs and shifts so he can see Tsuksihima a bit better, "I'm always willing to listen."

From:

saltinourstars

It spills out. Maybe Bokuto wants to watch him, and that's fine. Tsukki keeps his eyes fixed on the moon. Letting the words go on without him. About Akiteru, Karasuno, Yamaguchi. The whole humiliating mess spilling into the chilly air.

"...It hurt. I know you're an only child, I don't know if I can explain it - but - I worshiped Akiteru. Especially after our dad left. And he lied. For years. About a stupid game. And I was a stupid kid who believed everything."

Tsukki's fingers curl up. There's heat prickling behind his eyes and he blinks furiously. Refusing to cry about this.

"So I decided not to care."

Edited Date: 2017-09-23 07:53 pm (UTC)

From:

horned_owl

Bokuto listened carefully. Watching every line of Tsukishima's face, picking up on expressions and emotions as he goes through the story. And the pieces of the puzzle finally fit in.

It's true, he's the only child. But, if someone close to him did something like this, he would probably stop liking the sport himself. And considering the way Bokuto is, he wouldn't even linger around it, compared to Tsukishima.

Bokuto shakes his head slowly, "You're not stupid. You trusted someone so deeply and they ended up turning out to be something they aren't. You had and still have, every right to be mad about it. They teach us all the time to trust our families, so when they end up hurting you, it's no wonder if you end up not trusting anyone else."

He leans forward, on his knees and brushes fingers over Tsukishima's cheek. "But you do care. And from my experience, the more I say that I don't care, the more I do. Because, despite the things that happened, your brother gave you something nice and you treasure it."

From:

saltinourstars

There's a shuddering sigh at that. Tsukki leans fractionally into the touch. Grateful for the stability, that Bokuto hasn't just tackled him into a hug. Which would have brought everything crashing to a halt.

"He did, and then he broke it. And Akiteru's sorry. I know that, he's been trying to make up for it for years."

Tsukki pushes his glasses up. Rubbing at his eyes. He isn't even angry with Akiteru, he never was. He just didn't understand.

"I'm on the same team. I could have gone to another school, my grades were good enough. Of course I cared."

That's the real kicker. Tsukki could have quit, at anytime. He didn't need a sports scholarship, to put up with the hours of practice, Kageyama's attitude, Hinata's insufferable sunshine. So what was he trying to prove? That he could beat the team that spit out his brother?

"And then you came along."

From:

horned_owl

The summer training camp came along. It's been few months since then but Bokuto can remember every detail of it. The long practices, not enough sleep despite going to bed early. Tsukishima being distant, avoiding everyone. And then ended up asking him why they try so hard.

From the looks of it, the answer he provided had helped him out, even just a little bit.

Bokuto smiles. "Mmhmm. Lot's of nice memories from training camp. I'm glad you gave volleyball a second chance because the way you looked that night, it felt as if you would quit the second you came back home." Bokuo is glad Tsukishima didn't give up.

From:

saltinourstars

"It was close. I knew I couldn't keep coasting. You, Yamaguchi, Kuroo... you all still wanted to be there. Volleyball hadn't destroyed you."

Tsukishima doesn't often get called on his bullshit. But that was the week for it. Yamaguchi chewing him out - at least that was deserved. He had the right. All the information. But who was the noisy owl to declare 'You suck'? Bokuto hadn't known anything about Tsukki then. Except what was in front of him.

A guy not trying. Never mind why Tsukishima didn't want to try. That still stung.

There's a deep breath in. Out. In again.

"And then you actually answered the question. Why someone would want this so much."

From:

horned_owl

Well, volleyball destroys Bokuto daily, in different ways. But it certainly isn't with the intensity that hurt Tsukishima. He held it dear because of his brother, and when that was gone he was left with nothing. Only a sport he knows basics of, pain and ressentiment.

"I did answer it," Bokuto leaned chin on his entwined fingers. "The answer was, as much as it was truthful, a double-edged knife. Some people find their motivation back. Some don't. Since that night, I truly, truly hoped you will pull through. The talent doesn't matter if you don't feel like playing."

From:

saltinourstars

Tsukki nods.

"Thank you."

He knew he had that hope behind him. Bokuto, Yamaguchi, Akiteru. More then that, his whole team. He could make them better. If he wanted. And somehow - it was enough. Cracks in the shell. And when the moment came -

"'That's the moment you'll be hooked on volleyball.' And I got it. Shutting down Ushijima. One point out of twenty-five, but that was mine."

Closing his hand, Tsukishima remembered the pain. Not from the split in his pinkie. Or from having his heart broken. It was a new one. The agony of having to leave the court when everything felt so right.

But - There will be more opportunities. He knows it. There's a smile, and Tsukki's finally able to look at Bokuto again.

"I wonder if stopping you will be another one?"

From:

horned_owl

Bokuto can't hold back the grin. He saw the match later, on the computer, but it was probably ten times better in person and felt incredible to shut down one of the most insane spikers in Japan.

"Yeah! I watched the match at home. And I could tell Akaashi watched it too because when we came to practice next day his tosses were so precise it scared the shit out of me."

Akaashi is scary in general.

With a small laugh, Bokuto leans behind and keeps grinning: "Oho? You want to stop me, huh? Just so you know Tsukki! I love you to bits but I won't go easy on you!" His grin turns into a warm smile, "It would be an insult to you."

From:

saltinourstars

Tsukki's own expression goes a little sharp at that first bit. Now that's interesting. Of course they're not trying to get an advantage here. However, hearing Akaashi's play style changed? There's a flare of pride at that.

Then Bokuto goes on - and Tsukki's mouth drops open. He has to shake himself, trying to process.

"Wait. What did you say?"

From:

horned_owl

Akaashi doesn't want to be outsmarted by anyone. Not even his favorite underling.

Bokuto's confused for a second, not getting why is Tsukishima so shocked. Did he say something weird? Rewinding, he can't remember anything odd with-

Oh. Oh.

Bokuto's face turns Nekoma shade of red and his hands flail around.

"W-Wait-! Uh! I-I didn't-! Well!" ...this is not helping, huh? "..." It's not a lie but he shouldn't have said it NOW!