[Tears sting hot in his eyes, down his cheeks, and finally Tsukki shoves the glasses to the top of his head. Burrows into Suga's neck, shoulders shaking.
[A long, slow breath leaves Suga's lungs as he wraps his other arm around Tsukki as well.]
That's it. [His voice is barely above a whisper, and one of his hands sweeps up and down Tsukki's back soothingly.] This has been building up in you for a long time. Get it all out.
[Has Suga's heart ever ached with affection like this before? It's excruciating, but he wouldn't give up the feeling for anything.]
He never let himself talk about it. Or cry. Akiteru's the crier, the kind one, the liar. Kei refused to be like him anymore. Would have cut it all out, if possible. Every last memory, good and bad, just to stop the feeling of wanting.
It wasn't fair.
A sound rises up, out, muffled against Suga's shirt. Maybe a sob, or a scream. It goes no farther than the two of them.]
Oh, sweetheart. [Even muffled as much as it is, that wordless cry expresses so much. Suga stops rubbing Tsukki's back to pull him even closer, one hand cradling the back of his head, and presses a kiss into his hair.]
I know it hurts. But I promise it won't hurt this much forever. It'll get better.
[The comfort soaks in. Makes breathing easier. Maybe it was never going to work, coming from someone who knew. Even Yamaguchi. He was another kid. Suga's different. Separate from the disaster. Offering a perspective Tsukki trusts.
And Suga knows all about heartbreak.
There's no more shouting.
Slowly, Tsukki's arms wrap around Suga. Holding tight.]
[Suga can feel the tension slowly drain out of Tsukki's frame until they're finally embracing each other, instead of Suga holding Tsukki together. Relieved, Suga closes his eyes and starts to sway gently back and forth, humming some melody that never quite takes full form but still manages to sound like music. It's how he soothes Kenzo when the boy's panic starts to set in and given that Tsukki seems to feel music in the same deep way, instinct tells Suga that it might help quiet his mind as well.]
[Suga shakes his head with a relieved little laugh when Tsukki's face re-emerges. It's raw and red but not as tight and shadowy as earlier, and he counts that as a plus.]
You're never something to deal with.
[And then, to defuse the sheer emotional weight of that statement:]
Wanna stay for dinner? My parents should be back soon and my dad brings home take-out on Friday nights - heck, your appetite's so small that we could probably split my portion.
[Suga... kind of wants to keep Tsukki close by for a bit longer after seeing him break down like that, make sure he's totally okay before he leaves. But that would sound too clingy if he said it aloud, so he doesn't.
He stands up and reaches his arms up over his head to stretch, then musses Tsukki's hair while he's still sitting down since it's easily within reach. He hasn't done that enough since it became his prerogative as a boyfriend.]
[Tsukki bats away the hand and clambers up. Safely out of attack range, he slides the glasses on. Bringing the mess into order. As much as possible, anyway. He knows his eyes and face are red, they're aching from the strain. Oh well. It's not getting fixed right now.
Maybe that's okay.
The streetlights hum, turning the world warmer and Suga's hair to gold.]
You're welcome. [Suga gives one of Tsukki's hands a light squeeze, then steps inside to let Tsukki call his mother in peace, leaving the door open a crack for when he's done.
Kenzo's little form is visible through the archway that leads to the kitchen, sitting at the island with a glass of juice and drawing circles and lines in one of his musical notation notebooks. All that talk about sibling mistakes apparently still has Suga feeling some kind of way, because he's immediately compelled to walk up behind Kenzo and wrap both arms around him, cheek resting on his fluffy hair.]
[In a few minutes, they'll hear the sound of footsteps. The bathroom door sliding shut.
Tsukki emerges when there's a call for dinner. Back in his school uniform. It was either that or the gym gear, and he's not meeting Suga's parents smelling like a trash can. Unfortunately nothing can be done about the puffiness. Oh well. Glasses and politeness should hide it.]
[All things considered, dinner goes really well. He may just be imagining it, but Suga feels like his parents are observing Tsukki a bit more closely than they do most of his friends - maybe it's just because he's suddenly appeared despite being a teammate for for the whole year, or maybe because his reserved, formal manner is so unlike most of Suga's friends that they've met. Maybe Kenzo's obvious fondness for Tsukki is the surprising aspect of this whole thing.
Or maybe Suga's adoration for the boy is just written so nakedly across his face that his parents will eventually have some questions for him. Whatever the case, this feels more like inviting his boyfriend to dinner with his parents than it should, considering they're meant to have no idea Tsukki is any such thing.
It goes well, but all things considered, it's a relief when they're able to steal away to Suga's room afterward.]
My dad's so embarrassing, [Suga sighs as he flops onto his bed, shaking his head up at the ceiling.] I wish I could go back in time and assassinate whoever taught him the expression "tall drink of water."
[As if that's not the sort of thing Suga himself would call Tsukki without batting an eyelash.]
[Tsukki sits down next to Suga. Waiting for it to feel weird, being in his room. Especially after the dramatics from earlier.
It isn't.
Maybe it was dinner. Everybody just talking as if they liked each other, which they probably do. All so domestic, and normal, and so different than Tsukki's house.]
[It takes some maneuvering. The bed wasn't built for two people, especially one pushing 195 cm. When Tsukki finally gets a comfortable position, he's lying on his side. Long legs pressing against Suga's. Awkward, but not bad.
For a minute, he just lies there. Absorbing this new arrangement. Then reaches to brush a strand of hair from Suga's cheek, tucking it behind his ear.]
[Such a light touch, and yet its tenderness sends pleasant ripples of warmth all the way to Suga's toes. His eyelids flutter but don't quite slip shut, and he catches Tsukki's hand to pull that long arm around him, encouraging rather than insistent.]
Do you ever just... go back over how all this happened in your mind and wonder how on earth we missed so much for so long?
Nah, definitely not modest, at least not these days. He's feeling pretty smug.
[His smile slowly slipping from his face and a new intensity sparking in his eyes, Suga reaches for Tsukki's glasses. If there's no objection, he'll carefully lift them off Tsukki's face, fold them, and set them on his bedside table, then pull himself up higher in the embrace so that they're nose to nose, forehead to forehead.
No funny business, he said, but he's sneaking closer with every moment.]
[There really was a lot of breaking today, and yet Suga feels perfectly at peace lying here with Tsukki. He can put the pieces together as many times as it takes, and he knows Tsukki will be there to do the same for him in his own quiet, steady way.]
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2024-07-19 08:42 pm (UTC)There's no noise.]
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Date: 2024-07-19 11:56 pm (UTC)That's it. [His voice is barely above a whisper, and one of his hands sweeps up and down Tsukki's back soothingly.] This has been building up in you for a long time. Get it all out.
[Has Suga's heart ever ached with affection like this before? It's excruciating, but he wouldn't give up the feeling for anything.]
no subject
Date: 2024-07-20 01:09 am (UTC)He never let himself talk about it. Or cry. Akiteru's the crier, the kind one, the liar. Kei refused to be like him anymore. Would have cut it all out, if possible. Every last memory, good and bad, just to stop the feeling of wanting.
It wasn't fair.
A sound rises up, out, muffled against Suga's shirt. Maybe a sob, or a scream. It goes no farther than the two of them.]
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Date: 2024-07-20 01:16 am (UTC)I know it hurts. But I promise it won't hurt this much forever. It'll get better.
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Date: 2024-07-20 12:39 pm (UTC)And Suga knows all about heartbreak.
There's no more shouting.
Slowly, Tsukki's arms wrap around Suga. Holding tight.]
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Date: 2024-07-20 12:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-07-20 06:05 pm (UTC)He sits up a little to rub his eyes. Aching from the flood.]
Geeze.
Like you didn't have enough to deal with...
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Date: 2024-07-20 06:15 pm (UTC)You're never something to deal with.
[And then, to defuse the sheer emotional weight of that statement:]
Wanna stay for dinner? My parents should be back soon and my dad brings home take-out on Friday nights - heck, your appetite's so small that we could probably split my portion.
no subject
Date: 2024-07-20 10:22 pm (UTC)You shut up, Sugawara Koshi.
[Pulling out tissues, he wipes at his face. Then glasses. Scraping salt spots from the lenses. He's supposed to use cleaner, but whatever.]
Okay. If it's not a bother.
Let me call my mom.
why does dw send me notifs for edits but not the original tags sometimes??
Date: 2024-07-23 12:47 am (UTC)[Suga... kind of wants to keep Tsukki close by for a bit longer after seeing him break down like that, make sure he's totally okay before he leaves. But that would sound too clingy if he said it aloud, so he doesn't.
He stands up and reaches his arms up over his head to stretch, then musses Tsukki's hair while he's still sitting down since it's easily within reach. He hasn't done that enough since it became his prerogative as a boyfriend.]
No idea???? BAD DW.
Date: 2024-07-23 06:35 pm (UTC)[Tsukki bats away the hand and clambers up. Safely out of attack range, he slides the glasses on. Bringing the mess into order. As much as possible, anyway. He knows his eyes and face are red, they're aching from the strain. Oh well. It's not getting fixed right now.
Maybe that's okay.
The streetlights hum, turning the world warmer and Suga's hair to gold.]
Thanks.
no subject
Date: 2024-07-24 12:36 pm (UTC)You're welcome. [Suga gives one of Tsukki's hands a light squeeze, then steps inside to let Tsukki call his mother in peace, leaving the door open a crack for when he's done.
Kenzo's little form is visible through the archway that leads to the kitchen, sitting at the island with a glass of juice and drawing circles and lines in one of his musical notation notebooks. All that talk about sibling mistakes apparently still has Suga feeling some kind of way, because he's immediately compelled to walk up behind Kenzo and wrap both arms around him, cheek resting on his fluffy hair.]
I emerge from the dEPTHS
Date: 2024-08-05 11:37 pm (UTC)Tsukki emerges when there's a call for dinner. Back in his school uniform. It was either that or the gym gear, and he's not meeting Suga's parents smelling like a trash can. Unfortunately nothing can be done about the puffiness. Oh well. Glasses and politeness should hide it.]
no subject
Date: 2024-08-14 01:33 pm (UTC)Or maybe Suga's adoration for the boy is just written so nakedly across his face that his parents will eventually have some questions for him. Whatever the case, this feels more like inviting his boyfriend to dinner with his parents than it should, considering they're meant to have no idea Tsukki is any such thing.
It goes well, but all things considered, it's a relief when they're able to steal away to Suga's room afterward.]
My dad's so embarrassing, [Suga sighs as he flops onto his bed, shaking his head up at the ceiling.] I wish I could go back in time and assassinate whoever taught him the expression "tall drink of water."
[As if that's not the sort of thing Suga himself would call Tsukki without batting an eyelash.]
no subject
Date: 2024-08-14 05:13 pm (UTC)[Tsukki sits down next to Suga. Waiting for it to feel weird, being in his room. Especially after the dramatics from earlier.
It isn't.
Maybe it was dinner. Everybody just talking as if they liked each other, which they probably do. All so domestic, and normal, and so different than Tsukki's house.]
Your parents are okay.
no subject
Date: 2024-08-14 05:18 pm (UTC)I'm pretty lucky. Even if I complain sometimes, I know there are way, way worse families out there.
[Then he wriggles his way around to lie down properly on the bed and turns to face Tsukki, patting the space in front of him.]
C'mere? No funny business, I promise. I just... want you close right now.
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Date: 2024-08-14 08:25 pm (UTC)[It takes some maneuvering. The bed wasn't built for two people, especially one pushing 195 cm. When Tsukki finally gets a comfortable position, he's lying on his side. Long legs pressing against Suga's. Awkward, but not bad.
For a minute, he just lies there. Absorbing this new arrangement. Then reaches to brush a strand of hair from Suga's cheek, tucking it behind his ear.]
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Date: 2024-08-14 08:41 pm (UTC)Do you ever just... go back over how all this happened in your mind and wonder how on earth we missed so much for so long?
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Date: 2024-08-14 10:45 pm (UTC)Not really.
Someone told me to give my past self a break, remember?
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Date: 2024-08-14 11:21 pm (UTC)Good advice. They sound like a really smart, caring, sexy person.
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Date: 2024-08-15 12:22 pm (UTC)You forgot modest.
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Date: 2024-08-15 03:28 pm (UTC)[His smile slowly slipping from his face and a new intensity sparking in his eyes, Suga reaches for Tsukki's glasses. If there's no objection, he'll carefully lift them off Tsukki's face, fold them, and set them on his bedside table, then pull himself up higher in the embrace so that they're nose to nose, forehead to forehead.
No funny business, he said, but he's sneaking closer with every moment.]
no subject
Date: 2024-08-15 05:19 pm (UTC)Tsukki wonders if this is something you get used to, being treated like you're important. Or like you'll break.
Well.
There was a lot of breaking today.]
Hey, Suga?
no subject
Date: 2024-08-15 05:27 pm (UTC)[There really was a lot of breaking today, and yet Suga feels perfectly at peace lying here with Tsukki. He can put the pieces together as many times as it takes, and he knows Tsukki will be there to do the same for him in his own quiet, steady way.]
no subject
Date: 2024-08-15 05:36 pm (UTC)[Another piece coming into place.]
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