[Kenzo almost bolts the second he's got enough space, but then the giant speaks to him and he knows it's rude not to acknowledge an apology. He looks down at his feet, back up at (what's his name again? Koushi told him. Tsuki-something) the older boy, and finally manages a tiny smile and nod.
Then he's gone so fast there might as well be a dust cloud behind him. He's clearly a Kenma in need of a Kuroo if there ever was (another) one.
Meanwhile, Suga sits downstairs texting someone else and sipping calpico with no idea that Tsukishima nearly gave his brother a heart attack by existing.]
[Suga sets his phone aside when Tsukishima returns, but the words take a second to process.]
Oh - did Kenzo show his face?? I'll have to congratulate him later! He's even terrified of Daichi... [There was more to that sentence, something about how much time Daichi has spent at the house, but Suga manages to trail off in a way that sounds at least somewhat natural.] ... and Asahi won't come back here after the reaction he got, the big dummy.
Probably Bigfoot, knowing his imagination. Didn't say a word, just burst into tears and ran. I've been tempted to invite Hinata over once or twice since he seems to have such a gift with nervous people.
[Even the Yeti from Dateko has become friends with Hinata. How does the boy do it?]
[Suga leaves that sentence hanging for a moment while he scans the DVD rack for Cube.]
... I was just talking to Noya while you were upstairs and he's very jealous that I've somehow cracked the code for being friends with you. Apparently he's been trying all year... I told him flying tackles probably weren't helping his case.
Not biting's a winning strategy, it's true. [He shakes his head at that. Noya...] But I'd never dream of gunning for Yamaguchi's spot! Ironclad friendships like that are one in a million.
[- well, this is only the second Daichi landmine of the night, so Suga's doing pretty well so far! He just can't shake a twinge of melancholy as he wonders if he and Daichi will ever bounce back into an ironclad friendship.
And that's when something occurs to him.]
You know... I'm not even sad that me and Daichi will never be together anymore. I'm just sad that things have to be so different. All I want is my friend back.
[With that, talking about it is officially on the table. Tsukishima can choose to engage or allow the moment to pass, since Suga will undoubtedly sweep the topic away again if it's met with silence.]
[There's no mistaking the raw gratitude in Sugawara's eyes when Tsukishima makes space for him to talk about it more, at this new stage.]
It's weird. If you told me a month ago that I could stop thinking about being with him, I would've called you crazy. Do you think... does it mean you love someone more or less than you thought, if it turns out that having them in your life is all that really matters?
[It's not that Suga's over Daichi. That's too simplistic. But he's learning more about his feelings every day, and none of it quite makes sense.]
[Cube is an extremely gory and psychologically disturbing roller coaster ride of a movie - that entirely takes place in a series of small, near-identical, empty cubical rooms. It's not very distracting for someone who doesn't get hooked in early by the premise, so with daylight only just starting to wane outside and a conversation that's waited a long while finally being had, it's easy to miss the movie passing them by.
Suga mirrors Tsukishima's action by taking out a stick of pocky, but only to twirl it between his fingers for something to do with his hands. He still feels odd about making himself so vulnerable to an underclassman when he's supposed to be the mentor, even when Tsukishima's words have been invaluable to him so far.]
I like that idea. Not romance being the most important, I mean... every kind of love being... different, but at the same level. [The stick spins and spins in his hands.] Because I do love Daichi. But if I never hold his hand, or kiss him, well - I started loving him without doing any of those things, and I could keep on loving him without doing those things.
I wonder if he'd believe me if I told him that? He might just think I'm trying to reassure him.
[Tsukishima doesn't say that to be rude, or condescending. Only naming it for what it is. Something for Sugawara and Daichi to reach for. Surety that things change, but don't have to fall apart.]
Captain has to decide for himself, how to deal with it.
[Tsukishima may show more deference to his seniors than almost anyone else, but he's not shy about speaking strongly when it's needed and this is just such a time. It stops Suga in his tracks for a moment until he just nods, smile wilting.]
I'm not just trying to play all the positions, I'm trying to play both sides of the game. How embarrassing...
[Sugawara spends so much time supporting other people. Minding their business, making sure they're okay. It costs a lot. Giving and giving, until there's nothing left. Just a lie.
Everything's fine.
There's no proof Sugawara will get as bad as Akiteru, but Tsukki's making sure. He turns his full attention to the older boy. Gaze intent.]
[Even Sugawara doesn't know exactly what those words do to him. Not at first.
He just stares into Tsukishima's pale, pretty eyes, which suddenly seem to cut through the movie's reflection off his glasses and look right into Suga's heart. His chin wobbles and he thinks he might cry, but there's no sting of tears behind his eyelids.
Take a break. He hears the urgency in those words, maybe for the first time. Others have told him much the same thing and he's assured them that it's fine, he knows his limits, he only gives when he has enough... but Tsukishima's voice strains just that little bit because he's concerned, he's worried, and that, too, cuts through Suga's defenses.]
I'm not sure how to. [And there's an admission he's never made to anyone else before. Despite the shaky chin, his voice is steady and even.] I don't know who I am if I'm not living for someone else.
[Once again, Tsukki flashes to Akiteru's situation. The extreme end of where this goes. What would be different, if he'd had talked about it with someone? Anyone? What could have changed?
Tsukki stabs a finger at Sugawara.]
So find out!
Honestly!
Isn't that what all this is supposed to be for? Making a mess in high school so and lean to be a less terrible adult? Sacrificing yourself for other people, no one asked you to do that! No one wants you to do that, not if it sucks everything out of you!
Again, Suga feels like he might be on the verge of tears. Again, they don't come. Is he just too used to conflicting emotions, happiness always mingled with something more bittersweet? Because the realization that Tsukishima cares so much about him is about the purest, sweetest taste of happiness he's had in a very long time.
Turning on the couch with one leg tucked under him to face Tsukishima properly, Suga reaches out and wraps one of his hands around the one pointing so violently at him.]
You're really kind, Tsukishima-kun.
I will. I promise. And I'm sorry if I've worried you.
Tsukki hadn't realized he was angry, until then. Couldn't really separate if it's about the boy across from him, or his brother, all of it together. Exhaling, he drops his hand. Not bothering to shake Sugawara off.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
BWA HA HA HA
Date: 2024-05-19 11:43 pm (UTC)He steps aside. Giving Kenzo plenty of room.]
Hey.
Sorry about the noise.
tsukki will get so many points for not terrifying him
Date: 2024-05-19 11:49 pm (UTC)Then he's gone so fast there might as well be a dust cloud behind him. He's clearly a Kenma in need of a Kuroo if there ever was (another) one.
Meanwhile, Suga sits downstairs texting someone else and sipping calpico with no idea that Tsukishima nearly gave his brother a heart attack by existing.]
XD
Date: 2024-05-19 11:55 pm (UTC)Going about his business, Tsukki washes up and heads back down.]
Your brother's really fast, Senpai.
no subject
Date: 2024-05-20 12:00 am (UTC)[Suga sets his phone aside when Tsukishima returns, but the words take a second to process.]
Oh - did Kenzo show his face?? I'll have to congratulate him later! He's even terrified of Daichi... [There was more to that sentence, something about how much time Daichi has spent at the house, but Suga manages to trail off in a way that sounds at least somewhat natural.] ... and Asahi won't come back here after the reaction he got, the big dummy.
no subject
Date: 2024-05-20 12:05 am (UTC)Pfffft. Did he think Asahi was Yakuza or something?
[Or a kidnapper or a thug or - ]
no subject
Date: 2024-05-20 12:20 am (UTC)[Even the Yeti from Dateko has become friends with Hinata. How does the boy do it?]
I'm glad you two got to meet.
no subject
Date: 2024-05-20 10:42 am (UTC)I mean, he nodded and disappeared. Does that count as a meeting?
no subject
Date: 2024-05-20 12:29 pm (UTC)Hey, did Yamaguchi say when he'd be free? I want to make sure he doesn't end up coming in halfway through a movie, that'd be no fun for him.
no subject
Date: 2024-05-20 01:50 pm (UTC)[Tsukki's not interfering with sibling dynamics. Dropping the topic, he fires a text to Yamaguchi.]
At least an hour. He's seen "Cube" so you can just start that one.
i don't know this one nearly well enough to play by play so they'll have to get v distracty
Date: 2024-05-20 01:53 pm (UTC)[Suga leaves that sentence hanging for a moment while he scans the DVD rack for Cube.]
... I was just talking to Noya while you were upstairs and he's very jealous that I've somehow cracked the code for being friends with you. Apparently he's been trying all year... I told him flying tackles probably weren't helping his case.
Got it! Team gossip ahoy!
Date: 2024-05-20 05:03 pm (UTC)[Annoyed, Tsukki yanks off a rope of the Twizzler.]
Does he want a list? The flying tackles, the harassing me about eating, and the screaming. To start.
no subject
Date: 2024-05-20 05:29 pm (UTC)[Once he’s got the movie started, Suga returns to the couch with a grin.]
I just love the idea of him and Tanaka thinking I’ve become the Tsukishima whisperer.
no subject
Date: 2024-05-20 05:37 pm (UTC)You just figured out not to bite people.
[Still, here Tsukki is. Voluntarily spending time with a teammate. Maybe Sugawara does have something extra.]
no subject
Date: 2024-05-20 05:43 pm (UTC)[- well, this is only the second Daichi landmine of the night, so Suga's doing pretty well so far! He just can't shake a twinge of melancholy as he wonders if he and Daichi will ever bounce back into an ironclad friendship.
And that's when something occurs to him.]
You know... I'm not even sad that me and Daichi will never be together anymore. I'm just sad that things have to be so different. All I want is my friend back.
[With that, talking about it is officially on the table. Tsukishima can choose to engage or allow the moment to pass, since Suga will undoubtedly sweep the topic away again if it's met with silence.]
no subject
Date: 2024-05-20 05:58 pm (UTC)He just knows not to let the opening pass.]
Yeah.
That's the worst part. You're right.
no subject
Date: 2024-05-20 06:06 pm (UTC)It's weird. If you told me a month ago that I could stop thinking about being with him, I would've called you crazy. Do you think... does it mean you love someone more or less than you thought, if it turns out that having them in your life is all that really matters?
[It's not that Suga's over Daichi. That's too simplistic. But he's learning more about his feelings every day, and none of it quite makes sense.]
no subject
Date: 2024-05-20 07:34 pm (UTC)[If the movie's started? Tsukki's not paying attention. Maybe it's that he's been here. Humiliated and aching, wishing things were better.
He pulls off another strand of candy.]
Romance is always being pushed as 'Better.' That's kind of bullshit.
no subject
Date: 2024-05-20 07:49 pm (UTC)Suga mirrors Tsukishima's action by taking out a stick of pocky, but only to twirl it between his fingers for something to do with his hands. He still feels odd about making himself so vulnerable to an underclassman when he's supposed to be the mentor, even when Tsukishima's words have been invaluable to him so far.]
I like that idea. Not romance being the most important, I mean... every kind of love being... different, but at the same level. [The stick spins and spins in his hands.] Because I do love Daichi. But if I never hold his hand, or kiss him, well - I started loving him without doing any of those things, and I could keep on loving him without doing those things.
I wonder if he'd believe me if I told him that? He might just think I'm trying to reassure him.
no subject
Date: 2024-05-20 08:42 pm (UTC)[Tsukishima doesn't say that to be rude, or condescending. Only naming it for what it is. Something for Sugawara and Daichi to reach for. Surety that things change, but don't have to fall apart.]
Captain has to decide for himself, how to deal with it.
no subject
Date: 2024-05-20 08:46 pm (UTC)I'm not just trying to play all the positions, I'm trying to play both sides of the game. How embarrassing...
no subject
Date: 2024-05-20 10:50 pm (UTC)[Sugawara spends so much time supporting other people. Minding their business, making sure they're okay. It costs a lot. Giving and giving, until there's nothing left. Just a lie.
Everything's fine.
There's no proof Sugawara will get as bad as Akiteru, but Tsukki's making sure. He turns his full attention to the older boy. Gaze intent.]
Take a break, all right?
no subject
Date: 2024-05-20 10:58 pm (UTC)He just stares into Tsukishima's pale, pretty eyes, which suddenly seem to cut through the movie's reflection off his glasses and look right into Suga's heart. His chin wobbles and he thinks he might cry, but there's no sting of tears behind his eyelids.
Take a break. He hears the urgency in those words, maybe for the first time. Others have told him much the same thing and he's assured them that it's fine, he knows his limits, he only gives when he has enough... but Tsukishima's voice strains just that little bit because he's concerned, he's worried, and that, too, cuts through Suga's defenses.]
I'm not sure how to. [And there's an admission he's never made to anyone else before. Despite the shaky chin, his voice is steady and even.] I don't know who I am if I'm not living for someone else.
no subject
Date: 2024-05-21 12:37 am (UTC)Tsukki stabs a finger at Sugawara.]
So find out!
Honestly!
Isn't that what all this is supposed to be for? Making a mess in high school so and lean to be a less terrible adult? Sacrificing yourself for other people, no one asked you to do that! No one wants you to do that, not if it sucks everything out of you!
no subject
Date: 2024-05-21 12:46 am (UTC)Again, Suga feels like he might be on the verge of tears. Again, they don't come. Is he just too used to conflicting emotions, happiness always mingled with something more bittersweet? Because the realization that Tsukishima cares so much about him is about the purest, sweetest taste of happiness he's had in a very long time.
Turning on the couch with one leg tucked under him to face Tsukishima properly, Suga reaches out and wraps one of his hands around the one pointing so violently at him.]
You're really kind, Tsukishima-kun.
I will. I promise. And I'm sorry if I've worried you.
no subject
Date: 2024-05-21 02:43 pm (UTC)Funny.
Tsukki hadn't realized he was angry, until then. Couldn't really separate if it's about the boy across from him, or his brother, all of it together. Exhaling, he drops his hand. Not bothering to shake Sugawara off.]
Geeze.
I'm not looking for an apology.
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:Picking on your other muses? Must be a day that ends in -Y!
From:this is the curse of loving cinnamon rolls and gremlins equally
From:Lucky you Suga is a Cinnamon Gremlin
From:omg is that why he's become my hyperfocus character...
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:Mad that I acted respecless?/ It's 'cuz no one can respect this
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From: