saltinourstars | Until we let the spectrum in - Nationals Final

I didn't know that.

[Tsukki stares ahead. Turning something over.]

They were wrong to tell you that. Even if we lost the very next game.

[There's venom in those words. Shit. His filters really have taken a beating. Tsukki rubs at his eyes. Just... The idea of Suga watching Karasuno from the stands...]

Sorry.

That sort of thing pisses me off.

[The genuine fury in Tsukki's response startles Suga, but only for a moment. Then it brings a slightly shaky smile to his lips.]

That's exactly what I would've wanted to hear if I had told anyone at the time.

[And imagine Tsukishima being the one to tell him so. Fondness floods Suga's heart without warning and, after another quick glance around the bus, he grabs one of Tsukki's hands to give it a little squeeze.

He shouldn't do things like that when Tsukki's still processing his confession. Blame it on the dissolution of his own filters.]

[Except there's a squeeze back.

Their hands are between them, out of sight. Everyone's in their own heads. So... Tsukki doesn't pull his away.]

[Wow, did Suga's heart actually just try to jump all the way out of his chest?

Face suddenly red hot, Suga looks down at their hands, then back up at Tsukki, then straight ahead with a dopey smile on his face.

He's not asking questions. This is too nice to ruin with questions.]

[They're not coming back the same kids. They don't need crowns or titles. Even if they're granted, that's not why Karasuno is here. Why Suga is here. It's because ...]

'What else do you need but pride.'

Yamaguchi said that.

Last summer, at camp, when everything was so bad. Well. Really, he screamed it while shaking me.

I get it now.

[The image of Yamaguchi shaking the shit out of Tsukishima is so funny that Suga once again has to cover his mouth with his free hand to muffle a quick laugh.]

I’m glad. I’m really glad you’ve got him to guide you out of those times.

And he’s right. On top of that, no one can be a success and a winner and top of the class every time… trying and failing and appreciating the experience anyway is what makes you a person. I really believe this taught me more than cram school would’ve.

[Tsukkideserved that tongue-lashing, and Yamaguchi had every right to it.

Without it?

Tsukki wouldn't be here. Holding the hand of one of the prettiest boys he's ever met. Another sort of experience to appreciate.

He nods.]

Can I ask a question? Why do you play volleyball?

[Suga's brow furrows in thought.]

Why did I choose volleyball...? I knew I wanted to play a sport, but I can't remember why I ended up going with volleyball. [He waves it off with a little gesture.] Anyway. In middle school I was switched from opposite hitter to setter and got - exponentially better right away. Like, spiker really was not my position.

And when I got good, I got competitive. You know? It wasn't just a good way to keep fit and make friends, it was something I could really succeed at. By then we - my whole family, we'd really processed that Kenzo was one-in-a-millon gifted, and it meant a lot to me that I had my special talent too.

[He can't help but chuckle to himself at that. "Special talent" is overstating things when compared to Kenzo, which Kageyama showed him in no uncertain terms this year.]

I guess that's it, really. It's been my way to feel like I'm shooting for something extraordinary.

Edited 2024-06-16 22:41 (UTC)

Hm.

[Tsukki doesn't interrupt the story. Only listens. Putting Suga's 'reason' with the others he's carrying. His own. Bokuto's. Hinata's. His own. Singular moments that broke reality apart.

Suga loves volleyball, but in a different way. Slower, more intentional.]

So... Your reason was something you built up.

It didn't happen all at once.

Yeah, I guess that's right. If there was one "moment," it was probably the first time I played setter in a game we won - something clicked when I realized I'd found my place. That celebration felt different.

[That's still gradual, though, compared to a single moment in time like Tsukki's block.]

There have been some moments this year when I've really felt like my place still belonged to me, though. Those are more... singular.

[Tsukki smirks.]

Like the 5-person Synchro Attack.

I will never forget Inarizaki's faces!

[High risk, high reward. It didn't always work. But when it did - The results were glorious. Opponents left in slack-jawed shock.]

Yes!

[Oop, that was a bit too loud. Suga waits a moment and listens for any grumbled complaints - when there are none, he drops his voice back to his earlier whisper and continues.]

Did you catch when Tendou Satori told me he wanted to break my heart in two during the final? It felt extra-special getting under his skin, didn't it?

Edited 2024-06-17 21:57 (UTC)

[God. Tsukki's all too happy to dump on him.]

Tch.

Guess Monster's an ass. He kept calling me the 'Normal Guy' then he sang at Yamaguchi. Remember, when his serve got stopped early?

I could have punched that freak.

Mm, what you actually did made for much better revenge, though.

[Because that block reverberated through the entire team - he might as well have stolen that point from all of them, not just Ushijima.]

I felt that way about Oikawa, early on. As talented as you all are, the way he came in targeting first-years and practically ignoring the rest of us was cheap. [Unconsciously, his hand tightens around Tsukishima's for a moment as if there's still some need to protect him.] I'll never know how he developed a good reputation for anything other than his sheer talent and skill.

[Tsukki blinks at the tightening grip.]

It bothered you?

[It's jarring. Anyone (besides Yamaguchi) being so offended on his behalf. Tsukki has to dig for that match. Buried in the determination to not care not care not care.

He considers the game. Their first brush with Aoba Josai, the famed 'Great King.']

Oikawa's a pompous shit, but he's smart. He went for the weakness in our defense. The First Year who wasn't trying, without a Freak Quick or a Genius Set. It didn't feel personal. It felt obvious.

Really... It's not much different from what I do.

[Tsukki’s right, of course. And yet.

And yet…?

Ah, this is embarrassing.]

… huh. Maybe I’ve always been keeping an eye on you.

Yeah?

Well.

[That's... sweet, actually. Tsukki clears his throat. Watching the buildings go by as he tries to gather his wits.]

Thanks for letting me work things out.

I've never been the one who had any trouble with you, so it wasn't exactly a struggle.

[A fond smile plays on Suga's lips.]

And trouble would've been worth it, too, considering who I've gotten to know as a result.

You're a sap, you know that?

[He complains, while STILL not letting go of Suga's hand.

There's maybe a smile flickering in.]

I’ve heard that once or twice, yeah.

[Suga grins right back at him, and the moment draws out long enough to become a Moment. He swears the fluttering in his chest has gotten downright insistent, and he knows just what it wants.

Well, Nationals are over. Why not?]

Hey, Tsukki?

Yeah?

[This time, there's no question.

The BOOM is Tsukki's heart. Pounding against the walls. Trying to get out.

How does the whole bus not hear it?]

[On the contrary, Suga could almost swear that the bus gets even quieter. It's just the tunnel vision effect of staring into Tsukki's eyes, steeling himself to do this properly instead of stumbling into it like last time, he knows that, but...

He leans in closer, whispers the words into Tsukki's ear. Just in case.]

Will you be my boyfriend?

[No way anyone sitting behind them, eavesdropping eagerly behind their closed eyes and relaxed faces, could hear. Definitely not.]

Boyfriend?

[ Theoretical busybodies - IF they focused - could make that out. It's a distinctive sort of word.

Tsukki closes his eyes.

The answer isn't 'No.'

But 'Yes' means a strange path. Impossible to map. He could only take one step at a time. Hope the ground will hold, not crumble away underfoot. Send him plummeting. It's such a lot of trust to give.

He squeezes Suga's hand, hard. Feeling warmth.

More light on the path.]

[Suga thinks he should be more nervous about this silence, but he's not. After all, Tsukki always needs some time to process, and the best thing to do while he does so hasn't changed. Just stay close and be patient.

When Tsukki's hand clenches around his, Suga knows what the answer will be.

His eyes slide closed too and he presses his forehead against Tsukki's, settling into the moment. There's no way he can be afraid of silence when it's this warm and soft and comfortable.]

Take your time.

[Tsukki can feel the other boy's breath, there's so little space between them. He waits for panic. For walls to go up, for the spikes to rise. Instead, it stays quiet. Could be the growth, or the exhaustion, but he doesn't want to push away.

He sits with that.

After a few more minutes, he opens his eyes. Decision made.]

...Okay.

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I love Tendou, Tsukki does NOT XD

it's like a clip show episode :')

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