Don't threaten me with a good time - For Fragrant_hitachiin

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[Kei ignores the first buzz of the phone. And the second. He's going to see Kaoru in a few minutes, and it's fun to get him riled up sometimes. Besides, this is a new song. It deserves attention.

But by the seventh text? Okay, that's getting ridiculous. Kei scowls and digs out the phone to find a string of... SOS messages? Whatever's wrong, Kaoru sounds panicked.]

What's going on

Are you okay?

Comments

[fragrant_hitachiin]

[Maybe Kaoru should have warned Kei? Honestly, he's pretty sure he's mentioned it in the past. Advanced warning or no, Kei's expression doesn't even falter, and he just bows gracefully at the older woman. Kaoru stands up a little straighter, totally proud. He shoots his grandmother a bit of a smug look, and she swats his arm.

"Not at all," she says, her voice all saccharine. "Anyone who can put up with my grandson for as long as you have should be welcomed into the family!"

Rubbing his arm, Kaoru scoffs under his breath.]

We're too young for marriage, obaa-san. This isn't the 50s anymore.

[Kazuha Hitachiin huffs a little, and asks Kei, "What do you see in this little brat?"]

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[The headdress had been mentioned. But there's no way to really be prepared for the full... glory.

Kei pulls a face at marriage, and figures it wouldn't hurt to feel out the audience. A small smile slides onto his face, voice gone almost self-effacing. If you don't know that's also the one he uses to start shit.]

Ah - You know, sometimes I wonder that myself?

[It's only a small joke, really. And if she flares up, well, she won't be the first. Or last.]

[fragrant_hitachiin]

[Kazuha stills, but then she grins at Tsukishima and even gives a full-hearted chuckle.

'Well, I can't say I blame you. This boy, he has a way of getting under your skin, he and his brother do. Little pests, but you can't help but love them.'

Because, for all the trouble she gives them, she does love both her grandsons. And she knows that, if Kaoru's subjecting his boyfriend to this and the boyfriend is agreeing? He must love Kaoru, too.

'Be sure to let me know if you ever figure out what it is about him, alright?'

For his part, Kaoru crosses his arms over his chest tightly.]

Maybe introducing you two was a bad idea...

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Of course.

[Hikaru chimes in with his own protests and Kei just smirks at the pair. This introduction was probably a terrible idea. Too late now!]

If you have any advice about them, I'd love to hear it!

[You think he's passing up the chance to get dirt? There has to be some fun at a party!]

[fragrant_hitachiin]

[Kaoru is regretting his life right about now. It doesn't help that even Hikaru is giving him the stink eye. Meanwhile, his batty old grandmother is grinning at Kei with a smile that mirrors his smirk perfectly.

'Well, I usually by fun by pretending I have no idea how to tell them apart, but in your situation I could see how acting like you have them confused could cause a lot of conflict,' she muses. 'Although that would be quite amusing to watch as an outsider.... Ah, but you have to be delicate with these two. They're surprisingly quite sensitive. Why, I'll never forget the time when little Kao-chan was working with me in my greenhouse, and he was so upset when he caught a little caterpillar nibbling on the leaf of a daisy that he started crying and swatting at it!'

Kaoru yelps and claps his hands over Kei's ears ineffectively.]

No! No, no such thing ever happened, definitely not, the old witch is poisoning you with her lies.

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[It's a futile effort. Kei's still shooting up like a weed, probably set to clear 200 centimeters. And is also used to persistent red-heads jumping at him. He ducks away. Snickering.]

Wow, that's a lot of protesting if it's just a lie!

[He decides he doesn't want to touch pretending to mix up the twins. There is a line. Even for him.]

[fragrant_hitachiin]

I definitely didn't cry over it. [He huffs, annoyed that he's missed. It was definitely a bad idea to bring Kei into this lion's den, not for Kei himself, but for his reputation.

'He absolutely did. He was so upset for his flower!' Kazuha comments, and Kaoru's mother laughs and agrees that she remembers that day, too.

'Kaoru has always loved flowers,' Kazuha adds, gesturing to her head. 'Hikaru as well. They were the ones who designed my fabulous look.'

Resigned to his fate, Kaoru just hid his face.]

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[Kei... might actually be having fun. A little. Maybe. Anyway, now that the headdress has been acknowledged it seems a safe(r) topic. And a way to momentarily give Kaoru a break.

He nods.]

I don't really know about fashion, but it suits you!

[There are so many ways to interpret that. Kei just smiles.

There's a snort from Hikaru, who is leaning on Kaoru now. Half in shared disgust and half to check in with his brother. "It's ancient! We were four! She should at least wear something we made in the last decade!"]

[fragrant_hitachiin]

[Kaoru is immensely grateful for his brother's shoulder to lean on; if he has to deal with this betrayal from his boyfriend, at least he still has someone in his corner.

Even so, he can't help but peer out to look at Kei's expression. He looks gorgeous, really, with that smile that's part bright and part condescending. He sighs and looks up from his hiding spot, though his body is still pressed to his twin's.]

I shouldn't be so surprised that you two are getting along. You both like to do that thing where someone can't tell if you're laughing with them or at them.

[He reaches out and pokes Kei's cheek a little. Not to PDA levels of touch, but just enough to tide him over.

Kazuha laughs at the scene, at her grandson. It occurs to her this is the warmest Kaoru has ever been with anyone outside of the family, especially Hikaru, and that she can't help but approve.

'Well, this old woman needs to eat, so it's time for dinner.' She decides. She heads for the dining room, and the twins' parents and the guests follow suit, leaving the boys lingering in the back. Kaoru unsticks himself from his twin.]

How are you doing?

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[Kei ducks his head away from the jab, but not violently.]

You mean 'having a conversation'?

[He's not going to leave that without a verbal poke of his own. Though it's clearly affectionate too. Another thing noted by the matriarch. Well. There's certainly a lot to mull over as she sweeps in for dinner!

As they grab a small bubble of quiet, Kei lets out a breath. Reviewing the exchange.]

She's... not what I expected. She's funny.

["Huh. Nice way to say she's nuts," Hikaru mutters. Rolling eyes high to the ceiling as they walk in together. Look, it's still weird with Tsukishima around. But he and Kaoru have stood together against the old bat since they were born. He isn't abandoning his brother now.]

[fragrant_hitachiin]

[Kaoru is grateful for Hikaru's presence; he knows he couldn't get through something like this without his twin. Even though his priorities and sense of self are starting to shift, Hikaru still feels a lot like an extension of Kaoru's existence.

That doesn't stop him from rolling his eyes back at his twin and responding.]

Obviously he expected her to be nuts, she's related to you after all.

[Which he's well aware is also a description of him, but it's not like Kei isn't aware that Kaoru is more than a little maladjusted.

Kaoru turns to Kei next, and pouts his lip dramatically.]

You're lucky you're sinfully attractive, because I think you confused 'having a conversation' and 'being an asshole.'

WOW this has been A WEEK ugh

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[Maybe some people would take that as a cue to kiss the pout right off Kaoru's mouth. Except Kei isn't terribly demonstrative when he's comfortable. And in a room full of strangers? Imagination is just going to have to suffice.

He shrugs.]

Is there a difference?

[Not in this mood there isn't! At least he's still walking forward.

The room is full of white-gloved servants, the table spilling over with flowers. It looks like something straight out of an old English movie. There are placecards. With Kei and the twins are at the place of 'honor,' right by the Hitachiin matriarch. Of course.]

oh no :( I wondered! Are you okay??? Need to vent?

[fragrant_hitachiin]

[Kaoru knows well enough not to expect a kiss, so he's not upset when one doesn't come. He keeps up with Kei as he walks down the hall towards the dining hall, and sighs at his boyfriend's not-inaccurate comment about his usual behavior.

After all, it's not like he can judge when this is the guy he's fallen for.

They get to the dining area, which is bustling with their guests making small talk and looking for their seats. To Kaoru this is so commonplace that he doesn't even bat an eye, and it only occurs to him when he looks at Kei that his might be very, very out of the ordinary.]

I guess the old bat's not done with us after all... we can always skip, if you want. Take our food to another room and hide out.

Work gets crazy because of holiday weekends they are The Worst

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No. I'd rather not give her that ammunition.

[Ever the strategist. He's promised honesty, but sometimes you make sacrifices for the team. The short-term benefit of an early escape would probably bite them in the long run. It's tempting, though/ Especially when it feels like everyone in the room is discussing him.

Time to find something else to think about.]

The silverware goes from the outside in, correct?

[fragrant_hitachiin]

[It definitely upsets Kaoru that Kei feels so strongly about this but is enduring it anyways. He doesn't even really know if he's worth all that. Under the table, he squeezes Kei's hand tightly.]

I'm going to find some way to make this up to you. [He says in a whisper, having leaned in.] You're too good to me.

[Then Kaoru leans back, sitting in such a casual manner so as to belie that little moment of intimacy.]

Outside in, yeah. See, you've got this.

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[There is the briefest smile. Even a squeeze back of the fingers. Unfortunately Kei needs his hand back to navigate the minefield of spoons and forks. At least most of the food seems to be straightforward. He knows how soup and salad work.

But the next dish... he's not quite sure if it's edible, or one of the dreaded flower arrangements promised earlier. He chances a glance at Kaoru.]

What is this?

[He hopes that's quiet enough to pass under the conversational level. But their hostess may still pick up on it...]

[fragrant_hitachiin]

[A quick glance at the family matriarch would show her in conversation with one of the guests, though the way her eyes dart over to Tsukishima for a moment may indicate that she's heard. Either way, she's distracted.

Kaoru leans in so he can whisper back.]

Crab cakes on top of quinoa. The sauce is a remoulade, and it's probably a little spicy.

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[All right, those are all words. Kei runs them back over and nods. Sounds safe enough.

Then Grandmother Hitachiin is breaking in again. "Tsukishima-san, we were just debating how the orchids are looking. What do you think?"

Oh. Wonderful. Another test.]

[fragrant_hitachiin]

[From the side of his eye, Kaoru can see the very minute stiffness in Kei's shoulders. He swallows his bite of food, in no particular rush, then nonchalantly rolls his eyes.]

Kei isn't an orchids person, he's more... hydrangeas. Peonies. Camellias. [Everything about him gets a little softer, from his posture to his tone, and he glimpses at Kei before he adds.] Maybe even forget-me-nots.

[Pride. Bravery. Love. And then, True Love. Kaoru's grandmother is well versed in hanakotoba by nature of her profession, and there's no doubt she understands what Kaoru's confessing to. Across the table, Hikaru looks a bit striken, and their mother might be misty-eyed. For Kaoru, there's no shame in what he's said, and he meets his grandmother's gaze head on before somewhat pointedly eating another crab cake. Maybe now she'll back off his boyfriend a little.

There's no way Kei knows what he's said, but that's okay. Maybe a little safer, even.]

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[There's the sense of another language being spoken. And some flowers have meanings, don't they? Unfortunately Kei's not fluent. Kaoru may as well be speaking Spanish.

It seems to satisfy the grandmother, though. There's a long, studious smile, then she turns her attention to Hikaru instead. Who jumps right into an argument. Almost too enthusiastically, as though trying to cover. Reels in Kaoru for it, if he can.

Kei turns back to the crab cakes. Mentally repeating that list until he's sure he has it.

Hydrangea, peony, camellia... forget-me-nots.]

[fragrant_hitachiin]

[Kaoru allows himself to get drawn into the debate, backing Hikaru up as they insist the flowers their grandmother chose for the day's ugly flower crown don't compliment her outfit. It's a nonsensical argument, but it shifts the attention off of Kei.

They lose stream after a few minutes and the next course comes out, so the little fight dies. Kaoru turns to Kei, just to check in with him, with a little smile on his face.]

Ugh. [He says dramatically, rolling his eyes.] Family. How are you doing?

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[That at least gets a chuckle out of Kei. He's even relaxed enough to enjoy the food. Though his mouth settles back into a line when the next set of dishes gets wheeled in.]

Is there much more? I'm really not that hungry...

[Between the stress and his already small perfectly normal appetite, there's not much room left. But how do you politely decline in this circumstance? Kei can't just shove it away like when Nishinoya's annoying him.]

[fragrant_hitachiin]

[At a party like this? There's always more. But Kaoru can tell that Kei's near his limit and needs an out, and he's happy to provide one. He looks across the table at Hikaru, and they have an immediate, wordless conversation in just one glance. Hikaru nods and tilts his head in Kei's direction, and Kaoru turns to him with a bright smile.]

I think we've participated enough that we can be let off the hook for socializing now. And eating. [He takes Kei's hand under the table and squeezes it gently.] Let's head back to my room?

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... All right.

[He's not sure how they're going to manage without another interrogation... unless that silent conversation was somehow a plan?]

[fragrant_hitachiin]

[Sure enough, after Kaoru looks at Hikaru again, the elder Hitachiin twin 'accidentally' elbows a glass off the table, and the resulting crash has all eyes on him. Not to mention, the wine in the glass spilled on their grandmother's lap.

Stifling a laugh as people rush to clean the messes and make sure things are okay, Kaoru prods at Kei, and the two of them are able to get out of the room. It's very likely they were seen, but no one comes after them regardless, so it's also very much a win.]

See, having a twin can be useful sometimes. [He grins at Kei as they walk down an empty hall back to Kaoru's room.] What did you think?