[The other two team members are equally terrifying to Kenzo, even though he's never met them directly - as far as he's concerned, the sunshiny top-volume brightness of Hinata is just as scary as the dark scowling doom and gloom of Kageyama.
The younger manager is cute, though...
Kenzo's ready to walk the rest of the way in silence when Tsukishima puts on his headphones, not all that bothered by what others might consider rudeness, but then he takes the off again and Kenzo thinks - ah, he should probably make conversation. There is one thing weighing on his mind.]
Tsukishima - are you going to tell Koushi-nii about what happened?
[Kenzo flinches at that word, lie, his shoulders hunching even further inward. There's no point in clarifying that he'll just tell Koushi after the fact, is there? If Tsukishima's this particular about lying by omission, it won't help.]
Um. [His voice is a bit tremulous.] It's not just that. The... things I get... called...
[He's very carefully avoided that part, aside from saying that he doesn't consider any of it personally insulting, because Tsukishima managed to miss the worst of it. But truth be told, he doesn't want to tell either of them about that part.]
[Kenzo nods, letting out a little sigh of relief. Although he feels the need to add again, just to make sure that Tsukishima knows his feelings as well:]
It's not - I'm not insulted. If it was just words, I wouldn't care. Except - making it into an insult, that's not -
[No, this was a bad idea. He needs to be quiet now.]
- sorry. Um. I promise I'll tell Koushi about being chased down and trapped in the supply closet.
[Kenzo needs more. He needs Sugawara. Someone good at this sort of thing. Instead, he's stuck with a guy whose expertise is making people scream and rage-quit.
A thought edges in - What would Akiteru say?
Internally groaning, Tsukki takes a stab at Being Mature and Supportive.]
...It sounds like it's bothering you.
[Obviously it bothered him! The kid was chased into a broom closet!]
[Squaring his shoulders and clenching his fists, Kenzo takes a deep breath and just spits out the part that's eating at him, real venom rising in his tone.]
I hate that people who are just - that just make each other happy get used as the worst thing anyone could call you. I want to make them stop but I'm...
[He's insulted on his brother's behalf (and Tsukishima's) but a fraction of their size and strength. That's the part that gets to him, and that's why he's struggling with what to tell Koushi.]
... you know. I'm me. I just have to avoid it and wait it out, and they get to keep being awful about people who are - better at being people than they are!!
[That was. Some actual rage. Looks like Tsukishima's actually quite good at pulling emotions out of Kenzo that he would normally force down because he feels powerless to do anything about them.]>/small>
[Maybe Tsukki should try to calm down that rage. Watch his language.
He chooses neither.
Kenzo's talking about slurs. Aimed at him, at people he cares about, and the correct response is to be angry. So Tsukki keeps going. Biting off each word.]
They're sad, miserable assholes with sad, miserable lives who won't bother to be anything else.
[For a moment, tears shine in Kenzo's eyes as he looks up at Tsukishima, but they're not bad tears. He just happens to be a happy crier sometimes, like his big bro.
He ducks his head and blinks them away, but a shy little laugh bubbles up and he's smiling when he looks forward again.]
I... I don't need to make a scene and get hurt because of things said by people that pathetic. [That's the miracle of what Tsukishima just said - it's a way out of standing up to them, the morally correct action that would get him utterly pummeled. He can feel okay about it now.] Someone tougher will hurt them back one day and they'll learn.
[As they close in on the Sugawara residence, Kenzo's surprised to see his brother and Daichi approaching from the other direction. His stomach twists up with dread and he almost turns and runs away, but - that'd make him a disappointment to Koushi and Tsukishima in one fell swoop, a thought he just can't bear.
Suga looks equally surprised to see his brother and boyfriend walking together, a sight he finds charming until worries start to creep in about how this would even happen. Even if they ran into each other, Suga can't see either of them starting up a conversation out of the blue, never mind one that would lead them all the way here.
Thankfully, Daichi seems to read the room pretty quickly and splits from the group to carry on home right after greeting Tsukishima and Kenzo. There's a smile on Suga's face when he addresses both of them, but it's probably not quite bright enough to fool either of them.]
Well hello, you two! I didn't expect to see two of my favorite people right at my door at this time of the evening, but I can't complain.
[It's obvious something's off. No use trying to shield it with fake smiles. Tsukki gives Daichi a polite nod, waits for the older boy to turn the corner. Then tilts his head to Suga.]
[Kenzo's voice is quiet, but it doesn't waver. Suga's eyebrows shoot up, then settle into a more serious expression as he takes in this little exchange.]
Let's head in, then. We can talk in my room so that mom and dad don't interrupt when they get home.
[Though it's not worded like a question and there's no upward inflection in his voice, Suga and Kenzo exchange a look and the younger brother nods - yes, this is a conversation, and yes, he'd like it to be private. Suga doesn't play the cheerful host or offer Tsukki anything when they enter the house - it feels more respectful to his brother's solemn mood to skip the formalities and head straight for his room.
Once there, he sits in his computer chair so he won't tower over his tiny brother and looks from Kenzo to Tsukishima and back.]
[It's absolutely Big Brother Mode, and Tsukki takes a beat to center himself. Doesn't take the bed. That's center stage, where all that concern will focus.
Instead he drops his bag, leaning against the wall.
[Sure enough, Kenzo sits on the bed with his legs dangling off the edge. He looks over at Tsukishima briefly, but it's more of a nervous gesture than anything - after Tsukishima's strong words about the importance of telling Koushi the truth, he doesn't expect any leeway from that direction.
Finally, he lets out a big sigh and looks up from his hands, which are folded politely in his lap, into his brother's face.]
Some guys at school, they... um, they've been giving me a hard time. For awhile. Mostly just saying things they think will make me mad or hurt me. And the school counsellor said it'd stop if I just stayed calm and didn't give them what they wanted, b-but...
[A shadow settles over Suga's gentle features as his mind races with the possibilities: Kenzo wasn't limping, he's got no visible bruises, he was wearing his bookbag normally without any signs of pain, so was it physically bullying? Or something worse, some nasty psychological seed that could really take root in his brother's brilliant, delicate mind? It's difficult to stay quiet while Kenzo works up the nerve to say more, but Suga just sets his jaw and waits out the silence.]
... today they followed me around after school and waited until I left the music club room... and when I tried to get past them, they chased me up to the third floor so I couldn't get to an exit... all I could think to do was... was close myself into a supply closet...
[That's when Kenzo breaks down again, tears streaming down his face as he sinks back into that feeling of terror and helplessness. Immediately, Suga's up and out of his chair to sit beside Kenzo and wrap an arm around him.]
It's alright. You're safe now, okay? [Giving Kenzo a moment to pull himself together, Suga directs his next question to Tsukki:] Where do you come into this?
[Tsukki grits his teeth. Willing himself still. This is how it's got to go, hadn't he pretty much railroaded the kid into it?
Except now Kenzo's a mess and Suga's eyes are shadowed.
Everything feels worse. Even though it's the most secure they've been since this fiasco started. Calm. He will be calm. This isn't about him. Tsukki keeps the reply flat, not adding any emotion to the storm. Or so he tells himself. Anger seeps in at the edges, staining his words.]
[There's a brief but raw flicker of hurt across Suga's face. Not angry or betrayed hurt, just confused hurt - why wouldn't Kenzo come to him? Why would someone so new to Kenzo's life take precedence in an emergency? He knows they talk about music, but this makes him feel out of the loop in a slippery, nerve-wracking way.
He tells himself the same things, though. Not about me. Not about me. Kenzo was in crisis, Tsukishima helped him. He had absolutely no responsibility to do so, but he did.]
He helped! [Kenzo's little voice pipes up between harsh, shaky breaths. Without any understanding of the reasons for all this tension, he's just desperate to keep anyone else from getting into the line of fire.] I was so scared I couldn't think straight, but I didn't want to... to -
To what? [Suga forces his voice to stay quiet, gentle, and he gives Kenzo a little squeeze. Kenzo seems to have hit his limit again, though, so Suga just gives Tsukki a rather helpless look.] Thank you, Tsukki.
[That confusion hits hard. It's too much like Akiteru, across the gym, watching his brother's heart break.
Tsukki tastes metal. Something like guilt seeping into the dregs of adrenaline. Which makes no sense. He didn't start any of this. Even though the emotion is there because of him - No. That's childish, and he's not a child.
Get through the story.]
Yeah.
So.
I chased the little -
[He's about to use something politer, out of habit. Why bother? Not like Kenzo's being protected, he's heard the word. And worse.]
Tch. They're assholes, and I should have scared them worse.
[The genuine bitterness in Tsukki's tone when he talks about scaring off Kenzo's bullies finally brings a smile back to Suga's face, small and weary but full of genuine warmth. It's another whole new feeling, having someone on side with him when it comes to protecting his little brother.]
No no, you - you did enough. I'm just so glad you were there. [Suga gives Kenzo another little squeeze, then shifts over a bit to turn and face him directly.] And you did the right thing, reaching out for help.
[He just feels so helpless. Now what do they do? This is the very fear he's carried with him all year when he thinks about them sending his brother off to high school, and having it happen a year early just feels like confirmation that the worst is yet to come.]
Nii-san... [Kenzo's tears have tried up, but his voice is still a bit unsteady.] Don't let this - I mean, I won't say that it's no big deal or anything, but - please don't think you need to drop everything and help me now, okay? You have enough big deals of your own. I will be okay.
[Incredible. His little brother and his boyfriend, both of whom are in the room with him, have now made the same plea with the same nervous urgency: don't sacrifice yourself over this, or anything. Please look out for yourself first. And Kenzo's talking about being locked in a closet by bullies with no idea when they'd let him escape.
Now it's Suga's turn to blink back tears as he throws both arms around Kenzo and pulls him close for a long hug.]
[It's maybe true. It's maybe not. It is something better, for the brothers. They'll work their way through together.
Tsukki slips out the door. Keeps moving until he hits the front porch.
He's not leaving.
Just needs to get this - feeling - under control. Before it buries him. He jams on his headphones, grabbing a random song from the 'Pissed Off' playlist. Watches the sky darkens, go purple. Bruised and miserable.]
[There's still a bit for Suga and Kenzo to talk out, but it's true that they've reached a decent place for the time being. Suga knows he has to do something - it's just a matter of figuring out a plan that won't make the bullying worse, stress him out enough to make Kenzo worry, or have some other negative outcome.
When Kenzo feels ready to put on his own headphones and disappear back into his composing, Suga checks his phone to see if Tsukki sent a text after he left. Nothing there... then is he still around the house? Suga checks that the bathroom door is open, then heads downstairs to check the kitchen, the living room - nothing.
It's hard to say which looks darker when he peeks his head outside, Tsukki's face or the evening sky. Cautiously, Suga stands beside him and tucks a hand into his, fingers threaded together. That's all - no gesture to remove the headphones, just quiet company.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
The younger manager is cute, though...
Kenzo's ready to walk the rest of the way in silence when Tsukishima puts on his headphones, not all that bothered by what others might consider rudeness, but then he takes the off again and Kenzo thinks - ah, he should probably make conversation. There is one thing weighing on his mind.]
Tsukishima - are you going to tell Koushi-nii about what happened?
no subject
He keeps looking ahead. Voice mild.]
That depends.
Are you going to?
no subject
He’s got a lot going on right now. His whole future is riding on this entrance exam. I don’t want to worry him.
[That’s not quite a no.]
no subject
So you're going to lie to him?
Because lying makes it worse. Trust me.
[It's probably not fair, putting it that way. Tsukki doesn't care. He's not letting Suga and Kenzo get ripped open like he was.]
no subject
Um. [His voice is a bit tremulous.] It's not just that. The... things I get... called...
[He's very carefully avoided that part, aside from saying that he doesn't consider any of it personally insulting, because Tsukishima managed to miss the worst of it. But truth be told, he doesn't want to tell either of them about that part.]
I - I can leave that part out, right?
no subject
Geeze.
No.
No, Suga wouldn't make you repeat that. He'll believe you.
[Kenzo's voice is all over the place. Giving away how bad the names were - are. Tsukki grits his teeth. He can guess what words were involved.
Maybe he should have pushed those kids down the stairs.]
no subject
It's not - I'm not insulted. If it was just words, I wouldn't care. Except - making it into an insult, that's not -
[No, this was a bad idea. He needs to be quiet now.]
- sorry. Um. I promise I'll tell Koushi about being chased down and trapped in the supply closet.
no subject
[Kenzo needs more. He needs Sugawara. Someone good at this sort of thing. Instead, he's stuck with a guy whose expertise is making people scream and rage-quit.
A thought edges in - What would Akiteru say?
Internally groaning, Tsukki takes a stab at Being Mature and Supportive.]
...It sounds like it's bothering you.
[Obviously it bothered him! The kid was chased into a broom closet!]
no subject
I hate that people who are just - that just make each other happy get used as the worst thing anyone could call you. I want to make them stop but I'm...
[He's insulted on his brother's behalf (and Tsukishima's) but a fraction of their size and strength. That's the part that gets to him, and that's why he's struggling with what to tell Koushi.]
... you know. I'm me. I just have to avoid it and wait it out, and they get to keep being awful about people who are - better at being people than they are!!
[That was. Some actual rage. Looks like Tsukishima's actually quite good at pulling emotions out of Kenzo that he would normally force down because he feels powerless to do anything about them.]>/small>
no subject
[Maybe Tsukki should try to calm down that rage. Watch his language.
He chooses neither.
Kenzo's talking about slurs. Aimed at him, at people he cares about, and the correct response is to be angry. So Tsukki keeps going. Biting off each word.]
They're sad, miserable assholes with sad, miserable lives who won't bother to be anything else.
It's pathetic how small that is.
no subject
He ducks his head and blinks them away, but a shy little laugh bubbles up and he's smiling when he looks forward again.]
I... I don't need to make a scene and get hurt because of things said by people that pathetic. [That's the miracle of what Tsukishima just said - it's a way out of standing up to them, the morally correct action that would get him utterly pummeled. He can feel okay about it now.] Someone tougher will hurt them back one day and they'll learn.
no subject
Exactly. So pathetic!
Don't wait around for people like that to learn.
They aren't worth your time.
[Tsukki's smirk loosens into a smile, when Kenzo laughs. Glad that something in this awful day could help.]
no subject
I can see why my brother likes you. You're really cool.
no subject
Earnest compliments - his one weakness!]
If you say so!
no subject
Suga looks equally surprised to see his brother and boyfriend walking together, a sight he finds charming until worries start to creep in about how this would even happen. Even if they ran into each other, Suga can't see either of them starting up a conversation out of the blue, never mind one that would lead them all the way here.
Thankfully, Daichi seems to read the room pretty quickly and splits from the group to carry on home right after greeting Tsukishima and Kenzo. There's a smile on Suga's face when he addresses both of them, but it's probably not quite bright enough to fool either of them.]
Well hello, you two! I didn't expect to see two of my favorite people right at my door at this time of the evening, but I can't complain.
no subject
We're surprised as you.
Kenzo - You want me to stick around?
[He'd been about to ask, but - Here they are.]
no subject
[Kenzo's voice is quiet, but it doesn't waver. Suga's eyebrows shoot up, then settle into a more serious expression as he takes in this little exchange.]
Let's head in, then. We can talk in my room so that mom and dad don't interrupt when they get home.
[Though it's not worded like a question and there's no upward inflection in his voice, Suga and Kenzo exchange a look and the younger brother nods - yes, this is a conversation, and yes, he'd like it to be private. Suga doesn't play the cheerful host or offer Tsukki anything when they enter the house - it feels more respectful to his brother's solemn mood to skip the formalities and head straight for his room.
Once there, he sits in his computer chair so he won't tower over his tiny brother and looks from Kenzo to Tsukishima and back.]
What's going on?
no subject
Instead he drops his bag, leaning against the wall.
Lets Kenzo start.]
no subject
Finally, he lets out a big sigh and looks up from his hands, which are folded politely in his lap, into his brother's face.]
Some guys at school, they... um, they've been giving me a hard time. For awhile. Mostly just saying things they think will make me mad or hurt me. And the school counsellor said it'd stop if I just stayed calm and didn't give them what they wanted, b-but...
[A shadow settles over Suga's gentle features as his mind races with the possibilities: Kenzo wasn't limping, he's got no visible bruises, he was wearing his bookbag normally without any signs of pain, so was it physically bullying? Or something worse, some nasty psychological seed that could really take root in his brother's brilliant, delicate mind? It's difficult to stay quiet while Kenzo works up the nerve to say more, but Suga just sets his jaw and waits out the silence.]
... today they followed me around after school and waited until I left the music club room... and when I tried to get past them, they chased me up to the third floor so I couldn't get to an exit... all I could think to do was... was close myself into a supply closet...
[That's when Kenzo breaks down again, tears streaming down his face as he sinks back into that feeling of terror and helplessness. Immediately, Suga's up and out of his chair to sit beside Kenzo and wrap an arm around him.]
It's alright. You're safe now, okay? [Giving Kenzo a moment to pull himself together, Suga directs his next question to Tsukki:] Where do you come into this?
no subject
Except now Kenzo's a mess and Suga's eyes are shadowed.
Everything feels worse. Even though it's the most secure they've been since this fiasco started. Calm. He will be calm. This isn't about him. Tsukki keeps the reply flat, not adding any emotion to the storm. Or so he tells himself. Anger seeps in at the edges, staining his words.]
Kenzo texted me.
no subject
He tells himself the same things, though. Not about me. Not about me. Kenzo was in crisis, Tsukishima helped him. He had absolutely no responsibility to do so, but he did.]
He helped! [Kenzo's little voice pipes up between harsh, shaky breaths. Without any understanding of the reasons for all this tension, he's just desperate to keep anyone else from getting into the line of fire.] I was so scared I couldn't think straight, but I didn't want to... to -
To what? [Suga forces his voice to stay quiet, gentle, and he gives Kenzo a little squeeze. Kenzo seems to have hit his limit again, though, so Suga just gives Tsukki a rather helpless look.] Thank you, Tsukki.
no subject
Tsukki tastes metal. Something like guilt seeping into the dregs of adrenaline. Which makes no sense. He didn't start any of this. Even though the emotion is there because of him - No. That's childish, and he's not a child.
Get through the story.]
Yeah.
So.
I chased the little -
[He's about to use something politer, out of habit. Why bother? Not like Kenzo's being protected, he's heard the word. And worse.]
Tch. They're assholes, and I should have scared them worse.
no subject
No no, you - you did enough. I'm just so glad you were there. [Suga gives Kenzo another little squeeze, then shifts over a bit to turn and face him directly.] And you did the right thing, reaching out for help.
[He just feels so helpless. Now what do they do? This is the very fear he's carried with him all year when he thinks about them sending his brother off to high school, and having it happen a year early just feels like confirmation that the worst is yet to come.]
Nii-san... [Kenzo's tears have tried up, but his voice is still a bit unsteady.] Don't let this - I mean, I won't say that it's no big deal or anything, but - please don't think you need to drop everything and help me now, okay? You have enough big deals of your own. I will be okay.
[Incredible. His little brother and his boyfriend, both of whom are in the room with him, have now made the same plea with the same nervous urgency: don't sacrifice yourself over this, or anything. Please look out for yourself first. And Kenzo's talking about being locked in a closet by bullies with no idea when they'd let him escape.
Now it's Suga's turn to blink back tears as he throws both arms around Kenzo and pulls him close for a long hug.]
no subject
Tsukki slips out the door. Keeps moving until he hits the front porch.
He's not leaving.
Just needs to get this - feeling - under control. Before it buries him. He jams on his headphones, grabbing a random song from the 'Pissed Off' playlist. Watches the sky darkens, go purple. Bruised and miserable.]
no subject
When Kenzo feels ready to put on his own headphones and disappear back into his composing, Suga checks his phone to see if Tsukki sent a text after he left. Nothing there... then is he still around the house? Suga checks that the bathroom door is open, then heads downstairs to check the kitchen, the living room - nothing.
It's hard to say which looks darker when he peeks his head outside, Tsukki's face or the evening sky. Cautiously, Suga stands beside him and tucks a hand into his, fingers threaded together. That's all - no gesture to remove the headphones, just quiet company.]
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
why does dw send me notifs for edits but not the original tags sometimes??
No idea???? BAD DW.
(no subject)
I emerge from the dEPTHS
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)